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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25367131">portrait of the aftermath</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/spikeymarshmallows/pseuds/spikeymarshmallows'>spikeymarshmallows</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>two boys emerging from shadowed hallways [8]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Umbrella Academy (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Additional Warnings In Author's Note, Diego Hargreeves Needs A Hug, Established Relationship, Hopeful Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Drug Addiction, M/M, Panic Attacks, Past Drug Addiction, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Sibling Incest</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 09:22:10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>20,004</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25367131</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/spikeymarshmallows/pseuds/spikeymarshmallows</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>It was okay.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>Klaus was there now.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>Klaus had been sober for six weeks.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>His face had colour in it; his eyes weren't bloodshot.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>Klaus was here and Klaus was safe.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>Diego tried to focus on Klaus, there, in his arms. He may have been struggling today, but he'd asked Diego for help rather than letting himself relapse. He'd come to Diego and had told him he was struggling; this was progress. </i>
</p><p> </p><p>*</p><p>After Klaus OD's, things get better on some levels. Diego is absolutely determined to make sure everything is okay, and he's even more determined not to feel anything that might compromise the shaky foundations of this life they're trying to build.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Diego Hargreeves/Klaus Hargreeves</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>two boys emerging from shadowed hallways [8]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1695337</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>161</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>portrait of the aftermath</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Finally, the sequel to <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24366373">a steady beep</a>. I wanted this to be out within a few days of that, but it turns out... There was a lot to work through. </p><p>Enormous thanks to my amazing beta, emptydistractions. She left over 600 comments on this, pals. My work would be garbage without her time and patience <strike>and understanding of grammar</strike>. </p><p>Additional things that I didn't think should go in the tags:<br/>- There is a scene where Klaus gets upset about his weight. If you would like details on where this scene begins/ends, see the bottom notes :) [It's not in the tags as it is one, smallish, scene.<br/>- There are also some other characters that appear in this, but they aren't tagged for, because there's nothing like thinking "wow, my favourite character has a fic! Oh, oh... they're in... one scene... : ("<br/>- Just... general warnings apply. This is set right after Klaus' OD, and is part of Diego and Klaus' recovery from that so... It's not all sunshine.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"A museum?" Klaus asked as he lifted his head from where it had been tucked into Diego's shoulder. He was smiling though, so maybe it wasn't a terrible idea.</p><p>Diego shrugged, smile wry and crooked. "Yeah. Might be a good distraction. And they're free."</p><p>Klaus hummed. "I've never been to a museum outside of, well, The Umbrella Academy playing cops and robbers."</p><p>"We don't have to."</p><p>Klaus shook his head. "No no, like you said: it'll be a good distraction."</p><p>Klaus still looked as weak and shaky as he'd been in withdrawal, even though he'd been medically cleared for a few weeks. Diego had found an extra two blankets in the time Klaus had been in rehab and the weather was warming up, but he still clung to Diego as if he was the only possible source of warmth. It didn't take much convincing for Diego to stay in bed curled around him. He was just so happy to have Klaus back, even if he'd never gush aloud about it.</p><p>The past few weeks had been hell, and sleeping without Klaus tucked against him had been horrible. It had been so cold, and colder still to wake up alone. He hadn't realised how much he'd loved having Klaus there until he was gone.</p><p>But it was okay. </p><p>Klaus was there now. </p><p>Klaus had been sober for six weeks now. </p><p>His face had colour in it; his eyes weren't bloodshot. </p><p>His lips weren't chapped or cracked.</p><p>His lips were pink, not blue.</p><p>They weren't blue.</p><p>They were pink.</p><p>His eyes were clear.</p><p>Diego tried not to think about all of that though. Klaus was here and Klaus was safe.</p><p>He tried to focus on Klaus, there, in his arms. He may have been struggling today, but he'd asked Diego for help rather than letting himself relapse. He'd come to Diego, told him he was struggling. Diego had never been happier to hear he was struggling; this was progress. </p><p>"Go shower," Diego told him. He knew he wasn't being very convincing though, given that he immediately cuddled closer to Klaus. Klaus smelled good. He doesn't smell like cigarettes, or weed, or sweat, or vomit. He just smelled like Klaus.</p><p>"Come with me?" Klaus asked. Their shower was tiny, but Diego was loath to let go of Klaus when he didn't need to. Klaus said that his therapist called them codependent; his therapist was correct but Diego didn't give a shit.</p><p>Diego chuckled and nodded, and like the cruel bastard he was, pushed the blankets off of them.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Diego had been worried that the museum would be loud and full of people, but it was rather quiet. He supposed it was a school day and while there were definitely children around, it wasn't nearly as busy as he'd feared. Klaus' hand in Diego's was cold and clammy but Diego didn't let go, even when they got inside.</p><p>Klaus was wincing a little; he'd said he'd had a headache. He was distractible, losing his place at times and leaning on Diego often. Diego didn't mind; he liked the feeling of Klaus against him but he was still worried. He hoped a distraction would help. If that didn't do it, then hopefully the pastries they'd picked up on their way to the museum would kick in and give Klaus some energy. </p><p>They meandered through a weird modern art exhibit that Diego couldn't understand and that apparently made Klaus think of hallucinogens, past a section on prehistoric animals, filled with skeletons that seemed to make both of them uneasy, and then into a new exhibit focussed on the early Mongol Empire. Klaus stopped abruptly.</p><p>Diego held up, concerned suddenly. </p><p>Klaus' eyes grew wide and he blinked several times before clenching his eyes shut. Muttering something to himself, he opened them again. Blinked, squeezed his eyes shut, opened again. His hand in Diego's was trembling faintly.</p><p>"Klaus?" Diego asked carefully.</p><p>"Holy shit," Klaus breathed.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Klaus hadn't shut up. Other than when he was on a "literal buttload of drugs, Diego", Diego had never seen Klaus so excited. He'd stopped making sense about half an hour ago, but he also hadn't mentioned his cravings once, so Diego took it as a win.</p><p>After the first hall, Klaus had dragged him around the museum with a fierceness Diego had only ever seen in the bedroom; and even then, this might have had that intensity beat. They'd wandered from hall to hall, Klaus frowning at the air in front of him. Were Diego not absolutely certain Klaus were sober, it might have concerned him.</p><p>What it did, instead, was remind him of their childhood, before Klaus had started smelling of earth and greenery and pungent smoke and liquor. Klaus had talked to the nothingness sometimes, as if he were talking to one of his siblings. Sometimes, the nothingness made him sob, curl into a ball, and rock back and forth, or wail for Mom. But sometimes, he'd sit there on his knees and excitedly talk to the air, regaling something only he could see with stories that only Klaus could understand.</p><p>So, apparently, Klaus could see ghosts at the museum. And, apparently, some of the exhibits were very, <i>very</i> incorrect. Klaus had pointed it out eight times now. Diego mostly stood there, nodding along, trying to keep up. Several hours passed too quickly, but it was a relief. </p><p>The light rail was quite empty at this time of day given that school wouldn't let out for another hour, only a few mothers with children in strollers that kept shooting Klaus strange looks. Diego tried not to glare back at them and instead focussed on Klaus; or rather, he <i>tried</i> to. Klaus was talking so fast that Diego only managed to catch every few words. </p><p>"Can we stop here?" Klaus asked after they'd arrived at their stop. He nodded at the bakery across the street. "I'm hungry again."</p><p>Diego nodded and they darted across the road during the next break in traffic. He was glad Klaus was hungry, and if he wanted pastries twice a day, he could have pastries twice a day. Diego would just make sure he got some vegetables in his dinner tonight.</p><p>With a scone the size of his head in one of Klaus' hands, and Diego's hand in his other, they wandered home. Several places they passed were known for their unsavoury activity, even in the light of day. There was the sickening chemical smell of meth and crack in one or two spots and Klaus' hand tightened. Diego watched him close his eyes and press his lips together. His breathing got a little sharper and he took a large bite of his scone, chewing as if it were his mission. When they got further along the street, when the smell had faded, Klaus' death grip eased and his shoulders sank down from his ears.</p><p>Klaus' manic energy from before slowly faded and by the time they made it inside, Klaus had deflated. Diego's insides churned. Well, the museum had been a good idea at first.</p><p>Klaus kept munching at his scone before finally setting it down on the counter. There wasn't much left, and Diego was just glad he'd eaten. Klaus studied him, cocking his head as he really <i>looked</i> at Diego. Diego shifted from one foot to the other, looking down at the floor. Klaus stepped closer to him and wrapped his arms around Diego's waist, tucking his head into Diego's shoulder. Diego brought one hand up to rest on the back of his head, the other circling his waist.</p><p>"Thank you," Klaus said softly.</p><p>He didn't say what he was thankful for, but he didn't need to. Diego just kissed the top of his head.</p><p><i>Anytime</i>.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Diego tried not to let his nervousness show when he arrived at the Police Academy on Monday morning. It had been an arduous process getting accepted, but he was finally here, among about fifty other young recruits. He sat near the back, arms folded across his chest as he waited for things to get started. His uniform was crisp and smelled strange in its newness. </p><p>He bit his tongue to keep his mind from going elsewhere. Today was the first day he'd left Klaus entirely alone since he'd come out of rehab. Diego had still been working but this felt different somehow. Before, if he'd been feeling worried that day, he'd been able to leave and have lunch with Klaus. He'd finished earlier and was always home by the time Klaus came in. </p><p>It would be fine. Klaus had outpatient therapy at the rehab centre. He'd catch the light rail to rehab, just as he had every other day since he'd left inpatient. He didn't need Diego's supervision.</p><p>Diego just hated the idea of not being home when Klaus got home.</p><p>He chewed his tongue harder and only stopped when the instructor walked into the room, door slamming behind him. Diego sat up straighter.</p><p>He couldn't afford to fuck this up.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Diego exhaled in relief when he got home and Klaus was there, sprawled out on the bed, reading a magazine. As soon as he saw Diego he sat up, beaming.</p><p>"How'd it go?" Klaus asked, getting to his feet to cross the room and throw his arms around Diego's neck and letting Diego take his weight.</p><p>Diego<em><i><em>oof</em></i></em>'d at the unexpected weight but adjusted easily; Klaus may have gained a few pounds in rehab but Diego was still determined to make him gain more. He settled his hands on Klaus' waist where he could feel his hip bones through his sweater and kissed him. Klaus tasted sweet, like he'd maybe been eating…</p><p>"Donuts?" Diego asked when he pulled away.</p><p>Klaus narrowed his eyes. "Creepy. But yes."</p><p>"You taste like them."</p><p>"Gross." Klaus wrinkled his nose and put some of his own weight back on his feet.</p><p>Diego kissed him again, just because he could. Klaus melted into it. It took a great deal of effort to pull away and when he did, Klaus objected, if the way he followed after Diego's mouth was any indication.</p><p>"Have I ever mentioned how much I like a man in uniform?" Klaus teased, brushing his nose against Diego's.</p><p>"Once or twice," Diego said, biting his own lower lip as he recalled the exact same comment from Klaus that morning. Diego hadn't wanted to be late on his first day though and had not been persuaded to stay in bed any longer.</p><p>Klaus dragged his hands down Diego's chest slowly before reaching his belt, settling there, and unfastening the belt.</p><p>"You don't have to worry about being late now," Klaus pointed out cheekily with a peck to Diego's mouth before he sank to his knees.</p><p>"Just…" Diego said shakily as he let his head fall back against the door. "Just try not to get anything on the uniform?"</p><p>Klaus quirked an eyebrow at him as he fished Diego out of his pants. "Diego, please. What do you take me for?"</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Diego would rather die than say it aloud, but he was scared. He was scared he'd fuck this all up. He wasn't exactly known for his even temper and he'd spent a lifetime being yelled at by one asshole or another, so he wasn't sure how he'd deal with it this time.</p><p>So far, so good. He'd made it through the first month without outwardly losing his temper. He hadn't snapped at anyone in charge or at his peers. Colleagues. <i><em><em>Whatever.</em></em></i></p><p>Every time he started to feel the rush of bitterness and the flames of anger starting to lick at him, he bit his tongue and tried to think of Klaus.</p><p>They needed this.</p><p>They needed him to have this job.</p><p>As long as Diego had this job, they could survive.</p><p>Klaus didn't need to sell himself on the streets.</p><p>Klaus didn't even need to work at the seedy dive bar.</p><p>Diego wouldn't have to hold Klaus on the bad nights, when he tried to muffle his sobs, and insisted that <i>no, no, he was fine, really, the guy wasn't that bad</i>.</p><p>Diego didn't have to worry that maybe, if one night got too bad, he'd come home and find—</p><p>And find—</p><p>Find—</p><p>Diego had to keep this job. So he'd chew the inside of his lip until it bled if he had to. He wouldn't mouth off at the assholes in charge. He'd accept that another pretty white boy was seen as superior, even though Diego was just as fucking good.</p><p>Diego had kicked Luther's ass plenty of times; he'd kick this guy's ass too.</p><p>He'd changed his name for a goddamn reason.</p><p>Diego was <i>not</i> going to be Number Two here. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>They were finally able to move into a new place, closer to the Police Academy, and to Klaus' rehab. The street lights didn't flicker, and the streets were cleaner. There wasn't a chemical smell on the walk home from the light rail, no too-familiar faces that made Klaus stiffen and Diego's heart race a little faster. There were some trees here, and a park nearby that had children in it during the day.</p><p>When he and Klaus wandered through it on those nights when one, or both, of them were struggling to sleep, there were only the occasional teenagers hanging out on the jungle gym; there weren't people lighting up or injecting. Here, Klaus and Diego were just another couple of teenagers (Diego had to remind himself that they were still, in fact, teenagers).</p><p>They'd sit on the swing set and see who could swing the highest, the wind cold as it rushed past them. Diego sometimes forgot that Klaus had initially gone through the same training as the rest of them and could pull himself up on top of the swing sets in a few quick movements. Klaus would sit at the top of the monkey bars or the swing set, legs dangling over the edges, as he goaded Diego into doing increasingly stupid things. Diego would hang upside down on the monkey bars or try to flip backwards off of things because it made Klaus laugh, and because Diego missed the rush. Usually, after a suitable amount of showing off, Klaus would climb into his lap and kiss him until they had to get home, <i>stat</i>, lest they be arrested for public indecency.</p><p>They were usually able to sleep after that.</p><p>They still only had the twin mattress and there wasn't really much in the way of furniture, but Klaus loved thrift stores and progressively started to fill their apartment with things that were, well, necessary. A few more mugs, ones that didn't have chips in them. Glasses that weren't cracked. Some plates. Fluffy pillows for their empty living room.</p><p>Now that Diego had a bit of an income, they'd go out on the weekends to various stores that Klaus loved and Diego would obediently follow behind.</p><p>Yes, they could get the elephant bedspread, but no, he drew the line at florals. Yes, they could get the colourful glasses. No, they were not getting that fluffy rug specifically so Diego could fuck Klaus on the floor and Klaus' knees would survive. (They got the rug, because Klaus made a very compelling argument in the form of a sly grin and a whispered promise).</p><p>Now the only bruises that covered Klaus' body were the ones that Diego gave him, ones that Klaus begged for as he clutched at the thin sheets, back arched, body flushed, and moaning desperately.</p><p>After their first month in the new place, they managed to get a bigger bed. Despite that, they still slept pressed together, as if they didn't have twice the space as they had before. The weather warmed more and they slowly inched apart, until they only touched where Diego's ankle was thrown over Klaus' and their hands were brushing.</p><p>Diego wasn't ready to let his guard down just yet, but for the first time in a really long time, since the money he'd stolen from their Father had run out, Diego let himself think, even for just a moment, that maybe things would be okay.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>It was fucking hot. It was really, really fucking hot, and it made Diego grouchy. His uniform was dark and it felt like it absorbed the heat and made everything ten times worse. He'd changed out of his uniform shirt and into a black t-shirt for the commute home, and he already regretted that choice of colour. Outside drills had been cancelled due to the heat and the class had instead been stuck inside with a surprise quiz.</p><p>Diego didn't actually mind the tests but he definitely preferred physical work. He could easily do anything they threw at him and it felt good to be leagues ahead of everyone else in the program. He worked his ass off and he knew this shit back to front.</p><p>But today, instead of getting to do the shit he was good at he'd been landed with <i>a fucking quiz</i>. He hadn't read ahead yet so it had felt like being back at the Umbrella Academy, feeling like a goddamn idiot, even if most of the class hadn't read yet either.</p><p>And fucking <i>Patch</i> had been all smug about it after getting her paper back with a 95 on it; Diego's had been a 92 but that didn't make it okay.</p><p>He was going to revise the fuck out of his notes when he got home. Their father hadn't been good for much, but at least Diego sure knew how to fucking work a test and how to handle any physical challenge the academy set.</p><p>The light rail was too busy at this hour and everyone crammed together inside made it exponentially more unpleasant. Had people not heard of showering? To add an extra cherry on top of an already shitty day, the rail was older and the air-conditioning was shoddy at best. He clung onto the handrail, doing his best to stay on his feet as they jolted along.</p><p>It was, by some miracle, cooler outside when he got to his stop. </p><p>The bakery just down the road had an end of day sale on, as they usually did, and Diego bought some croissants for Klaus to eat in the morning before he turned down the road to begin the journey home.</p><p>The sun was still high in the sky thanks to daylight savings but maybe after dinner, he and Klaus could wander back this way to the bookstore they both liked. He'd finished his latest book last night and sure, he was kind of mad about that given today's quiz, but that didn't mean he didn't want something else to read. Klaus was currently really into reading about history which was kind of weird given everything about their lives, but hey… it made Klaus happy so, whatever worked.</p><p>As he made his way down the street he caught a glimpse of a familiar figure, twirling and dancing. Klaus didn't have a walkman so he was no doubt dancing to music only he could hear.</p><p>Diego paused. Klaus should have gotten home <i>hours</i> ago.</p><p>Klaus turned into their building and by the time Diego had caught up, Klaus must have made it inside. His stomach was twisting and curdling but he tried to relax. Klaus was probably just… Diego didn't know what Klaus could have gotten up to but he'd been sober for a few months now. If he was sneaking out for illicit activities, surely Diego would have noticed. Maybe he'd already been to the bookstore.</p><p>Diego exhaled and quickly checked their mailbox, tucking its contents into his bag before he started up the stairs to their apartment.</p><p>"Oh, hey!" Klaus said breathlessly when Diego unlocked the front door. "You're home!" He looked nervous, like he'd just thrown himself onto the couch and done his best to 'look natural'. He'd done a terrible job of it. He was still wearing shoes and his bag was on the couch beside him.</p><p>"Yeah. God, it's fucking hot out there."</p><p>"Oh, is it?" Klaus asked airily, leaning on his hand. His cheeks were flushed a dark pink from being outside in the heat. "I've been here all afternoon and it's lovely and cool." </p><p>Diego frowned. Why was he lying? "Don't bullshit me, Klaus. I saw you coming home."</p><p>Klaus giggled nervously. "Are you sure? That could have been anyone."</p><p>"I uh, don't know that that is a particularly common pattern," Diego pointed out.</p><p>Klaus glanced down at his jumpsuit, and the vibrant patterns of pineapples and toucans printed all over it. "I mean, it's a rare coincidence, I'm sure, but it could happen." He grimaced and smoothed a hand over his hips.</p><p>"Why are you being so cagey about it?" Diego asked, folding his arms across his chest.</p><p>Klaus' eyes instantly went to his biceps, looking between the two with a bitten lip before back at Diego with wide eyes.</p><p>"I'm not being cagey."</p><p>"Why are you getting home so late then? It's not a big deal, right?"</p><p>Klaus rolled his eyes and yanked his sandals off. "Ugh, no, I just didn't want you to worry. The timetable here is different, and I got caught up at the museum, and I forgot the new schedule for the light rail so I missed the right one to get home. But I still made it home before you, so all's well, right?"</p><p>Diego cocked his head and studied Klaus. Well, he didn't seem high at least. And then Klaus' words registered. "Wait, why were you at the museum?"</p><p>"Oh, I do that most days!" Klaus said brightly before he stopped suddenly, eyes wide.</p><p>"You… what?"</p><p>It wasn't a bad thing. It wasn't. But it still made Diego feel sick to think about Klaus going somewhere most days, hiding it from him, and Diego not noticing.</p><p>"Fuck," Klaus muttered. He quickly got to his feet, hands out placatingly. "I swear, it's not as bad as it sounds."</p><p>"Oh?" Diego asked mildly. "How do you think it sounds?"</p><p>"Like I've been sneaking off to museums and art galleries almost every day for three and a half months?" Klaus said, voice high.</p><p>There was a low thudding in Diego's ears and he felt vaguely nauseated. "Three and a half months?" he asked weakly. He hadn't noticed for <i>three and a half months</i>?</p><p>Klaus' eyes widened further. "Um, no?"</p><p>Diego ran a shaky hand through his hair and closed his eyes.</p><p>"It's not a big deal?" Klaus tried, holding his hands out slowly, as if Diego were a wild animal that might startle if he moved too quickly.</p><p>"Not a big deal?" Diego repeated, voice wavering. "If it's not a big deal then why is it a secret?"</p><p>"It's dumb—" Klaus started, eyes darting around. He was fiddling anxiously with the buttons of the deep v-neck of his jumpsuit and Diego's eyes were unwittingly drawn to them, even though his pulse was throbbing in his ears. There was a trickle of sweat running down Klaus' long neck and it came to collect in his sharp collarbones. Diego's mouth was suddenly dry and he—</p><p>He dragged his eyes back up to Klaus' face, taking in the flush still in his cheeks. Klaus had noticed Diego's gaze.</p><p>What were they talking about again?</p><p>Right. The sneaking off to museums.</p><p>Klaus bit his lip and tilted his head so he could look up at Diego through his eyelashes.</p><p>And then the bastard <i>smirked</i>.</p><p>Fuck.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>"Don't think—" Diego panted, dragging Klaus back down to kiss him. "Don't think you can distract me with your—oh <i>fuck</i>. We are <i>not</i> done talking about this."</p><p>"Yeah, yeah," Klaus grumbled breathlessly, biting Diego's neck and digging his hands into Diego's shoulders so he had better leverage to fuck himself down on Diego's cock. "Less talking, more fucking."</p><p>"Klaus—"</p><p>"Yes, yes, lecture me <i>after</i> we've come, christ."</p><p>Diego nodded and pulled Klaus back in by his hair.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>After, they both lay on their backs on the floor, breathing hard. The carpet felt strange against his naked back and thighs, and he closed his eyes until his breath steadied. He rolled his head so he could look at Klaus beside him. Klaus was still staring at the ceiling but after a moment he turned his head to look at Diego.</p><p>"Is it really just museums?" Diego asked, hating how small his voice sounded.</p><p>Klaus nodded, his lips pressed together and his eyes big and cautious. "Well, that and art galleries."</p><p>"Why would you keep that a secret?" He still sounded too vulnerable, too fragile. He felt sick that he hadn't noticed.</p><p>Klaus pushed himself up onto his elbow and shifted over so that their bodies were pressed together again. It was too hot, and both of them were sticky with sweat but Diego didn't want to move away. He looked up at Klaus as he settled against him, resting his other arm on Diego's chest. He worried at a thumbnail before letting his hand come to lay against his chest. He combed his fingers lightly through the hair on Diego's chest, idly playing with his nipple before remembering how sensitive Diego was there. Klaus pulled his hand back quickly.</p><p>Finally, he said, "I didn't want you to think it was stupid."</p><p>"Klaus, I think everything you do is stupid," Diego said before he could stop himself.</p><p>Klaus <i>hmmphed</i> and shoved him before he laughed.</p><p>"Sorry, sorry," Diego said, smiling awkwardly. He brought his hand up to thread his fingers together with Klaus'. "You know I don't mean that."</p><p>"Yeah, I know," Klaus said ruefully. His cheeks were pink still and by this point Diego wasn't sure if it was heat, sunburn, or embarrassment. Klaus visibly hesitated. He stared very, <i>very</i> intently at Diego's nipple as if it was the most fascinating thing in the world. "So, you know how I can see the ghosts and shit at the museums, right?"</p><p>"Right," Diego confirmed. He hadn't forgotten that day, not by a long shot.</p><p>"Well. I've been going back there to, well, to see if I can keep it up. And it's really interesting. And the history books are <i>so inaccurate</i>, Diego, like it's absolute insanity. I… I guess." He frowned. "I don't really know. I just think I should, I don't know, <i>do</i> something with this stupid fucking ability. Like, if you have your way, I'm going to be painfully sober for the rest of my existence—"</p><p>"I sure fucking hope so."</p><p>"—so. I guess… I don't know what I guess. I've just been going there a lot. Talking to people. Ghosts, really. Reading the books we buy, comparing things. I don't know, it's stupid." Klaus blew a raspberry and put his chin on Diego's sternum, still not looking up at him.</p><p>Diego touched Klaus' chin gently, encouraging him to look up. Klaus' expression was tight, like he expected Diego to mock him. Diego recognised the look, having seen it countless times throughout their lives. It was a crushing mix of vulnerable and defiant and Diego hated that he'd been the one to bring it out this time.</p><p>"It's not stupid," Diego said softly.</p><p>Klaus wrinkled his nose at him.</p><p>"It's not," Diego insisted. "Do you like it?"</p><p>Klaus hesitated, eyes darting away from Diego's face before he nodded. When he looked back at Diego again, his expression was so open and exposed that it made Diego's chest hurt. "Yeah. It's…" He laughed ruefully. "Why couldn't Dad teach me cool shit like this, instead of locking me in a crypt?"</p><p>Diego's hands tightened momentarily before he relaxed them again. "You like it?"</p><p>Klaus nodded with more confidence this time. "Yeah. Yeah. I love it. It's…" He shook his head.</p><p>"Then keep doing it."</p><p>Klaus snorted. "Yeah, sure. Just what the world needs. The <i>Seance</i> rewriting history because they got it wrong."</p><p>"Well, yeah."</p><p>Klaus raised an eyebrow.</p><p>"You could do something with history. I don't know, go to school. Study art or history, or both. Is that a thing?"</p><p>Klaus nodded slowly.</p><p>"You could probably build an entire career out of rewriting history books if you wanted to."</p><p>Klaus laughed. "Could go into museums, tell them I'm that kid that can talk to ghosts, and all their displays are wrong. I bet they'd love that."</p><p>"I mean, you wouldn't have to pitch it like that. You could, I don't know, offer to tell the real stories behind the exhibits. The stories nobody gets to hear."</p><p>Klaus was staring at the space in front of him, blinking slowly. "You think?"</p><p>"It's just an idea. But you like it. You don't <i>have</i> to do anything with it. That was Dad's MO, not mine. If you want me to look after you forever, and you just spend your days wandering the halls of the City Museum, that's fine too. But if you wanted to do something with it…" He shrugged, feeling off-kilter but unsure of why.</p><p>Klaus smiled sweetly at him. "I love you," he said simply.</p><p>Diego smiled and pushed some of his curls off his face. "I love you too."</p><p>Klaus' smile took on a darker shade. "So," Klaus said, rolling over so that he was straddling Diego again. "Am I forgiven?"</p><p>Diego grimaced at the stickiness of Klaus' ass against his cock. It had been hot in the moment, but things had definitely cooled down and now it was just uncomfortable. </p><p>Diego hesitated. "I'm not mad."</p><p>Klaus smiled and leaned down to kiss him. "Let me help alleviate any negative thoughts my way, just, you know, because I'm altruistic like that."</p><p>"Can we at least move to the shower for this?"</p><p>Klaus' grin was wicked.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>They did end up going to the bookstore. Diego couldn't decide between two books, and ended up getting them both. He didn't mind the frequent trips up here but he figured after the day he'd had, he could get a second book.</p><p>It seemed now that Diego knew Klaus' secret, he was being dragged along for the ride. Klaus picked up several heavy books while telling Diego about a new exhibition at the City Museum and from what the Capetian court (the what?) has said to Klaus, history had barely scratched the surface of the scandal.</p><p>"I mean, it's not a surprise that they don't have any books on that time period, but it's still disappointing. I love finding discrepancies and telling people they're wrong," Klaus said, leaving with three new books because Diego had never been able to say <i>'no'</i> to Klaus in his life.</p><p>As they walked home, the books tucked under Diego's arm, Klaus caught Diego up on all the things he'd learned over the past three months. Back home, Klaus sat on the counter in the kitchen with several of his older books while Diego cooked dinner. He'd hold up pages for Diego to look at, his scrawling cursive covering every inch of blank space. There were endless notes he'd taken over the past few months, things he'd learned from talking to the ghosts within the exhibition, highlights of information that was incorrect and tidbits that added more depth and nuance to the stories.</p><p>Diego had seen him writing in the expensive history books they'd bought, but he hadn't thought to ask. Klaus usually did it when they read just before bed. Diego was tired by then, and reading his own books or his notes for the Police Academy. It would be quiet and comfortable, and he'd lie there with his head on Klaus' stomach or thighs while Klaus would scribble away in his books.</p><p>Now that Klaus' secret was out, it was like a dam had broken. Now that he knew Diego wasn't judging him, he was trying to catch up on three months worth of knowledge in the space of a few hours.</p><p>By bedtime, Klaus' chatter had slowed down. They didn't read this evening; instead, Diego let Klaus ride him again, given that he had so much energy. After they'd cleaned up they lay in the low light. Their apartment was cool, but it was still hot outside and they lay naked and sprawled across their now much bigger bed. Sometimes Diego missed Klaus being pressed against him in their sleep, but in that moment he was immensely glad for the extra space.</p><p>The unspoken words that had nagged at him all evening wanted to come out, however clumsy the phrasing. Diego stared at the shadows on the ceiling; they danced thanks to the low flicker of the beachside scented candle on the nightstand. Diego had never been to the beach so he wasn't sure if that was what a beach smelled like, but it was nice regardless.</p><p>"I wasn't mad at you," Diego said into the silence.</p><p>"Hmm?" Klaus lifted his head from the pillow and blinked sleepily at him.</p><p>"I wasn't mad at you. You know, before. But it worries me that you could hide that for so long and I didn't notice. It… What else can you hide from me?" The words didn't come out easily, and although he stammered through the sentence he didn't actually stutter. It was impossible to picture the words in his mind when he wasn't even sure what he was trying to say.</p><p>Klaus grimaced. "I guess I'd hope that you just trust me. Maybe not now, but in time."</p><p>Diego didn't say anything. What <i>could</i> he say?</p><p>"Look, I'll make you a promise. Any time I feel like I wanna use? I come to you. I'll call my therapist too. But I'll come to you too. No matter what."</p><p>Diego rolled over and pillowed his head on his arm. He studied Klaus' face, entranced at the way the dim light made his skin glow. "No more secrets?"</p><p>"No more secrets, I promise."</p><p>He nodded. "Yeah. That… I'd appreciate that."</p><p>Klaus reached down and wrapped his fingers around Diego's. Klaus squeezed them before he brought them up to his mouth and kissed his fingertips. Diego huffed an awkward laugh, and Klaus' little smile widened.</p><p>"You know," he said. "Now that you know my secret, I'm not gonna shut up about it. And you're going to be dragged along to museums on weekends now."</p><p>Diego grinned. "I can't wait." He shuffled over so that they were closer, heat be damned. Klaus sat up, blew out the candle, and then snuggled in against him, resting his head against Diego's chest so he could listen to his heartbeat.</p><p>"I love you," Klaus said into the darkness.</p><p>Diego pressed a kiss to the top of Klaus' head. "You too."</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>"So," Klaus announced over ice cream, late on a Saturday afternoon. He seemed like he was going for dramatic, but his attempts were lessened by the ice cream that kept running down his hand. Every time he licked one side, the other side would begin to run.</p><p>"So, what?" Diego asked, far too amused at Klaus' inability to eat an ice cream.</p><p>"So, what, what?" Klaus asked, blinking at him.</p><p>"You were about to say something," Diego prompted. He cocked his head towards the park near their apartment, indicating they head that way instead of home.</p><p>"Oh. Um." Klaus hummed and bit into the waffle cone. "Um…" He frowned, stopping in his tracks, expression puzzled. "Oh! I've been thinking—"</p><p>"Well, we're fucked."</p><p>"—Firstly, you're not even remotely funny. Second of all, I've heard that one before. If you're going to sass me, at least try to be original about it, Jesus. And thirdly. Don't laugh at me. But…" He paused for dramatic effect. "I'm thinking of going to school."</p><p>Diego frowned. "Like, a high school?"</p><p>"No, like, to college. It turns out there <i>is</i> a career where I can talk to ghosts and tell people they're wrong. Museum studies is a thing. Or a double major in art and history."</p><p>"Have you looked into it?"</p><p>"Nah, not yet. I'm just going with the whole 'no more secrets' thing." He held up his ice cream in a silent offer to Diego. Diego wrapped his fingers around Klaus' and took a nibble of the cone. Klaus looked strangely shy at the action. The things that made Klaus blush always bemused Diego. Klaus could ride Diego's dick like it was going out of style, and afterwards hold his ass cheeks open for Diego to watch the come dribbling down his taint, but he'd blush when Diego kissed his fingertips or told him he was beautiful.</p><p>"I don't know if I can do the whole school thing," Klaus admitted when they reached the park. "I hate school. But I could take art classes. That'd be fun."</p><p>The park was busy, but not nearly as bad as it could have been. The worst of the heat of the day had passed, but as the light was getting low, the families that filled the small space were beginning to disperse. A little kid kicking a ball wasn't looking where he was going and almost ran into Diego's side. The child would have fallen on the edge of the path if Diego hadn't seen them coming from the corner of his eye and shot a hand out to stop their face meeting the pavement . The kid shook off Diego's hand and kept running, actually tumbling over on the grass. Diego rolled his eyes.</p><p>"What does your therapist say?" He didn't trust his own judgement half the time anymore; he'd been so very, very wrong about Klaus' situation before, and now found himself deferring to (or anxiously looking for) the expert opinion. He didn't always agree with it, but what did he know? He'd thought things were okay, and then he'd come home and—</p><p>Diego gritted his teeth and stared around the park at the long shadows that stretched across it.</p><p>"You okay?" Klaus asked. He'd finished his ice cream and was sucking his fingers clean.</p><p>"Yeah," Diego said. Maybe if he said it enough, he'd start to believe it too. "Was just thinking how much I hate kids."</p><p>Klaus laughed. "Same. Let's never have kids."</p><p>Diego grinned, and it only felt a little forced.</p><p>"Thank god you can't get me pregnant," Klaus continued, twining his sticky fingers between Diego's.</p><p>"Not for lack of trying," Diego teased.</p><p>"How do you feel about dogs?"</p><p>"Apartment is too small."</p><p>"Cats?"</p><p>"You're allergic."</p><p>"Exotic lizards?"</p><p>"No."</p><p>"Tigers? I wonder if I'd be allergic to them too."</p><p>"Still not apartment friendly."</p><p>Klaus pouted. "You're right."</p><p>"Besides," Diego said, slinging an arm around Klaus' shoulder, "you make a far better house pet than anything else you could list."</p><p>Klaus beamed. "Now you just need to train me to bring you your slippers."</p><p>"Frankly, I'd be happy if I managed to house train you. Let's start with that."</p><p>Klaus poked his tongue out at him. "I'll show <i>you</i> house trained," he muttered darkly.</p><p>Diego laughed and kissed his forehead. "C'mon, I think some of the spawn are evacuating the swing set. I'll push you if you want."</p><p>Klaus brightened and Diego had barely a second to notice the mischievous look cross his face before Klaus was pushing him away, shouting, "Last one there has to do the dishes!"</p><p>Diego figured he'd let Klaus win, just this once; it wasn't like Klaus would do the dishes anyway.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Klaus screeched and then swore. Diego heard something land on the carpet. It was probably a spider or something. Klaus wasn't scared of spiders, but Diego didn't know what else it could be. Maybe it was a particularly large bug.</p><p>Diego left the bathroom, toothbrush in his mouth, and found Klaus sitting on the floor, expression incredulous. He was silent. There was an unbroken mug on the floor, and green tea was soaking into the ugly beige carpet.</p><p>Diego looked around the little foyer curiously. There were no bugs that he could see.</p><p>"You okay?" Diego asked around his mouthful of toothpaste.</p><p>Klaus nodded wordlessly.</p><p>"So you're just sitting—" he stopped. "Hold on." He went back into the bathroom and spat out the toothpaste before wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. "Okay, start again. You're just sitting on the floor in a puddle of tea, because… you want to?"</p><p>Klaus looked up at him with wide eyes. "Diego, am I high right now?"</p><p>Diego frowned. "Sure as fuck hope not." Even though Klaus had been with him since late yesterday afternoon, his heart started racing and he began thinking through every second he hadn't spent with Klaus, and whether Klaus could possibly have gotten high in the minute and a half Diego had been brushing his teeth.</p><p>Klaus tentatively reached out a hand to the space in front of him before deflating, hand curling into a fist and dropping into his lap.</p><p>"Klaus?" Diego asked, increasingly concerned.</p><p>"Um…" Klaus said, voice high. "So, apparently I can see Ben."</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>After they'd cleaned up the spilled tea, Diego sat slowly on the little sofa. He rubbed his eyes with his thumb and forefinger.</p><p>"Okay, so explain this to me again."</p><p>"I can see Ben," Klaus said, still sounding shocked.</p><p>"But you've been sober for a few months. Why now?"</p><p>Klaus was silent but the way he was looking at the space in front of them didn't seem like he was contemplating his answers, so much as listening to something Diego couldn't hear. "He's been in and out, apparently. And I... needed to..." He cocked his head. "He's not sure, but he thinks maybe I needed to want him there to a certain extent." He frowned. "But he's been around, even when I've been high. I just couldn't see him." Klaus turned and looked at Diego. "In short, neither of us understand, but he's here now, so <i>surprise</i>, I guess." He did only partially enthusiastic jazz hands on <i>'surprise'</i>, still looking perplexed.</p><p>And then Klaus snorted. "He also requests that we wear pants more often."</p><p>Diego's eyes widened and dread ran down his spine. "Oh my god. How much has he seen?"</p><p>"Too much, apparently. Says he wishes there was a way to put a metaphorical sock on the doorknob, but for the ghost world." He grinned wickedly. "Well, it's not like I've been consciously summoning you. Maybe you're just a voyeur. " He looked back at Diego. "So, he knows we're together, so there's that I guess."</p><p>"Yay," Diego said drily, head still spinning. A thousand thoughts and questions sprang into his mind. What did Ben think about them being together? How much of the past nine months had he witnessed? Had he seen Klaus selling himself on the streets? The men who left him with bruises and cuts, even though Klaus wasn't fighting them, was giving them what they wanted? Had he seen Klaus' overdose? Had he felt like vomiting in the same way that Diego had, when he'd seen Klaus' blue lips? Had he seen the way—</p><p>Diego took a shaky breath. He couldn't let himself think about that. Those thoughts pervaded his nightmares, where he couldn't stop them, but he sure as fuck was going to stop thinking about it when he was conscious.</p><p>Klaus was looking at him with concern. He shifted over on the sofa, twining warm fingers between Diego's.</p><p>
  <i>Klaus' skin had been so cold.</i>
</p><p>"You still with me?" Klaus asked softly.</p><p>Diego exhaled slowly, closing his eyes for a breath, before nodding. "Yeah." His voice was rough, and he cleared his throat. "Yeah. Just a lot to take in."</p><p>Klaus nodded, his smile bittersweet.</p><p>"So, what do you think brought him here today? Were you, I don't know, thinking about him?" Diego asked, trying to get the topic away from his own thoughts.</p><p>"Don't really know. I mean, it's not like I've ever tried to work on these things."</p><p>"What about at the museums?" Diego was curious now. He hadn't really given it much thought before. As children, the concern (at least to Diego and Ben) had always been about how to keep the ghosts away without resorting to chemical substances. They'd rarely been successful.</p><p>Klaus laughed brightly. "Oh, I don't summon them! They're just kinda there. Sometimes. Sometimes they're not there. But I have absolutely no idea what makes them show up, or disappear." Klaus cocked his head at the space that had to be Ben, and wrinkled his nose. "Yeah, I'd really rather not."</p><p>Diego raised an eyebrow. He could already tell this was going to get old fast.</p><p>"No, don't you start, or I'll start calling you Daddy," Klaus sniped. He looked over at Diego. "And you, if you start, I'm going to withhold sex for a month. A week. A few days. A day? Twelve hours. Probably."</p><p>Diego wasn't sure his eyebrows could get any higher as Klaus continued to adjust his threats.</p><p>"What am I not starting?" Diego asked mildly.</p><p>"Benny, here, thinks I should learn to control my powers," Klaus said with a scoff.</p><p>"Well," Diego started, dragging the word out.</p><p>"Ugh! I hate you both!" Klaus announced dramatically as he stood and flounced into their bedroom. Diego heard Klaus flop dramatically onto the bed and a quiet <i>'ow'</i> as he, no doubt, landed poorly.</p><p>Diego snorted to himself and shook his head. "I'm not sure if you're still in here, but uh, just in case you are… I've missed you." Diego's cheeks felt like they were on fire, and a part of him hoped Ben <i>wasn't</i> in the room.</p><p>Still, it was nice to know there was someone watching over Klaus, even if Klaus was probably never going to listen.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Diego entered the apartment to find Klaus sitting cross-legged on the floor of their tiny living room, sheets of paper spread haphazardly around him.</p><p>"What on—" Diego started.</p><p>Klaus looked up at him and grinned. "Hi baby!" That smile always made Diego's stomach swoop.</p><p>"What are you doing?" Diego asked as he hung his keys on their hook. Once he'd yanked his boots off, he carefully wound his way through the papers on the floor so he could crouch down beside Klaus and give him a little kiss.</p><p>"I'm applying for colleges!" Klaus said, beaming.</p><p>Diego looked at the various papers and booklets on the floor. He took in the pictures of smiling people holding books that decorated the covers of them, recognising some of the logos, and the names of the various colleges around the city.</p><p>"Huh. What programs are you looking at?" He picked up one of the pamphlets, skimming the vibrantly coloured reasons on <i>Why You Should Choose City West Community College</i>. </p><p>"Um," Klaus hummed and shuffled through some papers. "So this is my favourite!" He held up a booklet with both hands and shimmied his shoulders. "It's literally a BA in 'Museum Studies'." Diego took it from him and looked it over while Klaus picked up another. "This one is a nicer school, but it's more of a double major in Fine Arts and History. And this one," he passed the second pamphlet to Diego and searched through the mess for another, "is a really nice school, <i>and</i> it has Museum Studies. But," he wrinkled his nose, "it has some core science and math classes you have to take." </p><p>Diego glanced through the pages, promising himself he'd look in more detail after dinner. "Why wouldn't you go to the one that's favourite?"</p><p>"Well, I might! But Ben says that nicer schools can help you get jobs later on. And he says I should apply to all of them, just in case I don't get into some." </p><p>Diego cocked his head. "Ben?"</p><p>"Oh yeah, Ben's helping," Klaus explained. "He applied for some colleges before, well, you know." He mimed a brief, very dramatic (and somewhat inaccurate) reenactment of Ben's death and fell back on the floor. "He was going to leave us, Diego. Going to go off to some fancy school and study literature or some bullshit." He shook his head. "I guess you left us in the end anyway."</p><p>Diego winced.</p><p>"Oopsy?" Klaus said, not nearly as contrite as he should have been. He looked up at Diego and then back at the papers before pushing himself back into a sitting position. </p><p>"So, that's my thinking." He frowned slightly, and Diego saw the first sign of nervousness since Diego had gotten home. "I'm worried I won't get into any of them. I'm not exactly a stellar student, and I didn't go to a real school." His shoulders sagged a touch before he shook it off and sat up straight again. "But no harm in trying, right? And with Ben helping me, it's the best shot I have."</p><p>"You should definitely try," Diego said, smiling and putting the pamphlets back on the floor. </p><p>Klaus smirked at him and sat up further. He kicked some of the books and papers away as he leaned up to kiss Diego again. Diego kissed him back, wondering if Ben was still in the room. Out of the corner of his eye, Diego saw Klaus raise a hand and flip off the empty space.</p><p>"Shut up, you're just jealous that I'm not hopping on your dick instead," Klaus said, not even breaking away from Diego's mouth.</p><p>Before Diego could protest anything, Klaus grabbed him by the shirt collar and pulled him down. Some of the papers got squished under Klaus' back and Diego's hands.</p><p>Hopefully none of them were <i>too</i> important. Whatever. Diego didn't care right then anyway.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>It was as much a relief as it was a celebration when the letters advising that Klaus had gotten into several of the colleges he’d applied for—including the one he referred to as "the real fancy one"—arrived. Klaus had been doing well at rehab, and they'd reduced his required hours even further. That meant more hours in the day, more hours that Diego wasn't able to watch after him to make sure he was okay.</p><p>If Klaus was studying, hopefully he'd be busy and less inclined to use.</p><p>Of course, there was the alternative niggling fear that if Klaus was stressed, he'd want to use then too.</p><p>But Klaus' therapist said this was a good thing.</p><p>Diego knew it was a good thing too.</p><p>He just… He just worried.</p><p>Rather than letting himself worry, he ran until his muscles were weak, and he was dizzy from something he hoped wouldn't eventually be heat exhaustion. He sat in the bottom of the shower and let cold water pour over him. His head was still throbbing when he left the shower, but he felt like he could breathe again.</p><p>Klaus didn't seem to notice that anything was wrong, and fondly called him an idiot for going for a run in the heat. If Diego was a little quieter that evening, a little more touchy-feely than normal, he was just going to blame his headache.</p><p>They drank protein smoothies in bed, Klaus tucked under Diego's arm as he looked through the booklets the universities had sent him. Diego was too tired to cook, and Klaus was expressly forbidden from making anything more complex than smoothies. If their smoke alarm went off <i>one more time</i>…</p><p>When he got bored of reading the endless paperwork inviting him to this program and that, Klaus sucked Diego's dick. Klaus rutted against the mattress as he did, moaning around the cock in his mouth. Diego came with his fingers tight in Klaus' tousled curls, nails digging into his scalp, the vibrations of Klaus' moans dragging him over the edge.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>"So, you know how I have no fears at all, and am utterly unflappable in the face of any and all circumstances?"</p><p>Diego blinked blearily at Klaus as he poured grounds into the coffee machine."Come again?"</p><p>Klaus laughed, but his laughter was strained. He wasn't usually out of bed at this hour but he started college today. He was bouncing his leg up and down as he leaned against the counter beside Diego. He kept crossing and uncrossing his arms. He bore quite a few hickeys on his torso, and a long line of scratch marks down his chest and across the length of his stomach from Diego's nails the night before.</p><p>Diego's dick twitched in his boxers. They didn't have sex <i>every</i> morning, but Diego found himself mentally calculating if there would be time this morning.</p><p>He realised Klaus was silent; that, in and of itself, was unusual. Klaus even talked in his goddamn <i>sleep</i>.</p><p>"What?" Diego said, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes.</p><p>Klaus stuck out his lower lip as he stared at the clock on the wall, expression troubled. "I've never been to a real school, Diego! I talk to ghosts! I got my first tattoo at twelve years old! <i>I can talk to ghosts!</i>"</p><p>Diego cocked his head. "I think I'm missing the point."</p><p>"I don't know what to do at these kinds of places! I know I'll be the best dressed, but—"</p><p>Diego was oddly endeared. Normally, Klaus exuded confidence, and his zero-fucks-given attitude was something Diego had occasionally been envious of growing up.</p><p>"Are you scared that the other kids won't like you?" Diego asked.</p><p>Klaus scrunched up his face. "When you put it like that, it sounds dumb. But yes." He huffed and rearranged his arms over his chest again. "I don't exactly have shared life experiences." He paused, and then added, "And all the girls are going to hate me because I'm cuter than them." He looked genuinely upset; it shouldn't have made Diego want to laugh.</p><p>"You'll be fine," Diego said, resting his hands on Klaus' shoulders. "Just be your usual <i>charming</i> self, and you'll be fine.</p><p>"I'm sleeping with my brother," Klaus pointed out weakly.</p><p>"Okay, so don't be too charming," Diego teased. "I'm possessive, and you know that."</p><p>Klaus' smile was more genuine this time. "What I'm hearing is that I just have to tell you the cute barista gave me his number, and you'll rail me into next week."</p><p>Diego flicked his forehead. "Sounds about right."</p><p>"What if I'm late? I'm not exactly known for my good concept of time."</p><p>"You're not exactly known for a lot of things," Diego pointed out. "I suppose… Don't be late? At least you won't get the cane for being late here."</p><p>"Small mercies," Klaus muttered. "Do you think Dad would have kept it up if he'd known it'd grow into a kink?"</p><p>Diego snorted. "Who knows? You'll be fine."</p><p>Klaus pouted at him a little more and then stepped forward to drape himself over Diego in a hug. Diego squeezed him, rubbing his hand up and down Klaus' naked back. While hugging Klaus, Diego glanced up at the clock and then down at the coffee machine.</p><p>"Wanna see who can get who off the fastest?" Diego asked as he pulled back a few inches to look at Klaus' face.</p><p>Klaus exhaled and laughed. "Oh thank god. I thought you'd never ask."</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Diego had never seen children at Christmas, and Christmas had never been celebrated in their household, but he'd heard the phrase 'like a kid at Christmas' before. He didn't know what that looked like, but given Klaus' energy and babbling, Diego couldn't help but wonder if this was an accurate approximation of the idiom.</p><p>Klaus sat on the floor in the corner of the kitchen, reeling off the events of his day. Diego was only half able to keep up, but so far, it sounded like it had been a success.</p><p>"And so this is the syllabus for my Intro to Modern Art, and this is the one for English, and, ugh, god, why do I need Pre-Calculus, Diego? Why?"</p><p>"Because it's unfair to be that pretty and not have to suffer for it," Diego said. When he looked over his shoulder, Klaus looked positively smug. "Sounds like it's gonna be a lot of work." </p><p>Klaus groaned dramatically as he tipped his head back to thunk against the wall. "I am rethinking all of my life choices right now."</p><p>"All of them?"</p><p>"Well," Klaus hummed. "Not <i>all</i> of them." Klaus' smile was genuine and it brought a comforting warmth to Diego's stomach.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Klaus settled into his classes with an ease that Diego almost envied. That had always been Klaus' way though. He was a fierce little fucker, who, despite seeming fragile, gave a whole new meaning to the idea of adaptability. Really, their father should have been proud. Diego might not have always <i>agreed</i> with the way Klaus adapted, but there was something to be said for his improvisation skills.</p><p>After a few weeks, he'd added a part-time job at a thrift store he liked to his daily schedule. He and Diego had been in there one Saturday afternoon, and Klaus had left that afternoon with yet another throw blanket for their living room, six colourful mugs, and a new job. He somehow managed to juggle the job, rehab, and his school work, and it kept him busy. Diego had never seen him happier. </p><p>The nights where Diego was woken by Klaus' nightmares were decreasing in frequency. </p><p>And Klaus made friends easily, and although Diego would never admit it aloud, he envied that too. Diego had people he liked to work with at the police academy, but he wouldn't go so far as to say he'd made any friends in his time there.</p><p>He told himself he wasn't there to make friends. He was there to get his training so that he could do a job. He was there to get a job so that he and Klaus didn't ever have to go back to the Academy.</p><p>And if that sometimes meant he bit his tongue until it bled so that he didn't shout at the bastards in charge, so be it. Biting his tongue would be easier than knowing Klaus was selling himself on the streets again.</p><p>He'd swallow his pride for Klaus any day.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>"Okay, yes, but <i>Transformers</i> has giant robots," Diego pointed out, standing with his hands on his hips. "I'm not wasting my Saturday night on a dumb movie."</p><p>"Firstly, <i>Transformers</i> is dumb as fuck. And two," Klaus said, moving his head in the sassy little jerk he always did right before he made a stupid decision, "Ben says <i>Sharknado</i>. It's two against one!"</p><p>"You're just saying that because you want your way. There's no way Ben, Mister 'I read Tolstoy at 13', would want to watch that."</p><p>"But he does!" Klaus' voice was getting dangerously close to a whine.</p><p>"Unless you can summon him and prove it, nah. Not accepting it," Diego laughed, shaking his head.</p><p>Klaus narrowed his eyes at him but was silent.</p><p>Diego took it as the victory it was and grinned, moving towards the cheap DVD player Klaus had picked up at his job at the thrift store a few weeks ago. "We can watch <i>Sharknado</i> next time."</p><p>And then, out of nowhere, Ben appeared. He was still in their mission uniform.</p><p>"—want to know if there is literally a tornado with sharks in it," Ben was saying.</p><p>Diego sat down heavily.</p><p>"Is he okay?" Ben asked, glancing over at Klaus.</p><p>Diego wanted to say something, but he was at a total loss for words. His eyes were starting to sting from how wide they were.</p><p>He could see Ben.</p><p><i>He could see Ben</i>.</p><p>"Wait," Ben said slowly, his eyes also widening as he looked at Diego. "Can you see me?"</p><p>Diego nodded, his mouth hanging open.</p><p>"Oh fuc—"</p><p>And then, there was nothing but air again.</p><p>As suddenly as the elation had risen in him, it disappeared and was replaced by an ache in his chest. </p><p>Holy fuck, he had seen Ben!</p><p>Klaus grinned down at him triumphantly.</p><p>"<i>See!</i>"</p><p>"Jesus Christ," Diego breathed, running a hand over his face. "Okay, fuck. Okay. Yeah, <i>Sharknado</i> it is."</p><p>Klaus pumped his fist victoriously and then flopped down onto the couch beside Diego. He rested his head against Diego's shoulder.</p><p>"Well, that was more tiring than I expected," Klaus admitted with a laugh. "But worth it."</p><p>Diego patted Klaus' hair absently. "Well, you were always motivated by spite."</p><p>"Spite and drugs. And I don't have drugs anymore, so spite it is."</p><p>"Jesus," Diego said again. His brain was still trying to catch up.</p><p>Klaus patted Diego's arm. "The important thing is that I won."</p><p>Diego laughed, almost giddy, and wrapped an arm around Klaus' shoulder.</p><p>"Go put your dumb movie on."</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The apartment was dark when Diego entered it that evening. Klaus had had work that afternoon but he should have been home by now.</p><p>Diego inhaled slowly. Maybe they'd had a delivery of new stock come into the store, and Klaus was gleefully rifling through the new things, making his claim before anyone else could. It had happened before.</p><p>He flicked on the light in their tiny foyer, and glanced at his watch. He'd give it another hour and if Klaus wasn't home, he'd call the store. He wanted to call now, wanted to check, but he was determined not to let those thoughts win. He figured he'd get started on his evening routine to take his mind off things.</p><p>With the light from the foyer, Diego was able to see into the bedroom. It was then that he realised Klaus was on the bed, curled around Diego's pillow.</p><p>Diego tried not to panic. <i>This… This wasn't…</i> He closed his eyes, but that was a mistake because it just made the image in his mind more vivid. He moved into the room quickly and sat on the edge of bed. The light was low, but Klaus looked okay. His cheeks had colour in them; he was probably too warm, given the blanket he'd pulled over himself. His lips were pink and there was no blue or purple in sight. His breathing was steady.</p><p>Still, Diego couldn't stop his heart racing, nor shut up the little voice that screamed "<i>what if what if what if</i>". He reached out a hand and lay it on Klaus' shoulder, before brushing some of Klaus' messy curls off of his face. Klaus made a grumbling sound in his throat and blinked blearily up at him after a moment. He smiled sweetly when he registered Diego's presence.</p><p>"Hi," Klaus said, voice rough.</p><p>"Hi," Diego said, relief starting to trickle through the panic. "You okay?"</p><p>Klaus nodded. "Mm. Was just practicing with Ben and…" He yawned widely and shuffled over so he could curl against Diego's thigh, using that as his pillow now. "Um. Tiring work."</p><p>Diego chuckled, and rubbed at Klaus' scalp with his fingertips. The sound maybe came out a little giddy from relief, but still, his voice didn't waver when he asked, "Oh yeah? It go well?"</p><p>Klaus hummed and nodded. "I think so. Gotta be able to summon him when I wanna argue with you."</p><p>It startled a laugh out of Diego. "I feel like Ben is more likely to side with me."</p><p>"Bold of you to assume I'd summon him if he wasn't siding with me," Klaus remarked sleepily. "Mmm that's nice. D'ju have a good day?" Klaus pushed into Diego's hand. Diego added his other hand, and Klaus made a delighted sound in the back of his throat.</p><p>"It was a day," Diego said. "Had an obstacle course. Kicked everyone's ass."</p><p>"You always kick everyone's ass," Klaus pointed out.</p><p>"And I plan to keep it that way."</p><p>Klaus laughed and relaxed against him.</p><p>Now that Diego's eyes had adjusted to the light, he could see a pint of ice cream on the nightstand. On closer inspection, he realised it was empty. He shook his head to himself, amused.</p><p>"Someone was hungry?" Diego teased.</p><p>Klaus grumbled. "Lemme alone, I'm a growing boy." He sighed. "I really gotta stop eating so much ice cream though."</p><p>"Nah. You're making up for lost time. You gonna be okay to have dinner? Or should I let you sleep?"</p><p>Klaus hummed, contemplating, and then nodded. "'M okay. Just tired."</p><p>"Good." Diego eased Klaus off his lap and back onto his pillow. "I'll come get you when it's ready."</p><p>Klaus nodded, and by the time Diego was at the bedroom door, he was pretty sure Klaus was asleep again.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Diego had just stepped out of the bathroom, his towel around his waist, when he saw Klaus glaring at the mirror. Diego looked between it and Klaus and back again, and wondered if there was a ghost there.</p><p>"You good?" Diego asked cautiously.</p><p>"Yeah, I'm fine," Klaus snapped.</p><p>"Yeah, seems it," Diego said sarcastically. He moved around Klaus to his side of the closet. He pulled out his clothes for the day and dressed while Klaus grabbed a fluffy robe and stomped off to the kitchen. He heard clattering, and the slamming of drawers and then the freezer.</p><p>Ah. So it was one of <i>those</i> days then.</p><p>Once dressed, Diego came into the kitchen. Klaus was sitting on the counter, stabbing at the too-hard ice cream with his spoon impatiently.</p><p>"I thought we were going out for breakfast," Diego said mildly, crossing his arms over his chest.</p><p>"Yeah, well," Klaus huffed, not providing a better argument. He put the pint down, the sound of it loud on the counter before he held it out for Diego. "Ugh, put it away. I don't want it."</p><p>Diego raised an eyebrow and took it, digging into the ice cream and taking a mouthful of it himself. He dug some more out and held it out for Klaus.</p><p>Klaus shook his head. "No, I can't."</p><p>"Why not?"</p><p>"Because."</p><p>Diego shrugged and ate it.</p><p>"Is that a no to going out for breakfast then?"</p><p>Klaus looked sulky. "I don't know."</p><p>"What's going on?"</p><p>"Nothing."</p><p>"You're not even <i>trying</i> to lie effectively here."</p><p>Klaus kicked his feet back against the cabinets, looking out the window. Diego took another mouthful of ice cream.</p><p>"Bad ghost day?"</p><p>Klaus shook his head.</p><p>"Cravings day?"</p><p>Klaus tilted his head back and forth, a <i>'little bit'</i> but not a <i>'yes'</i> nor a <i>'no'</i>.</p><p>"Not hungry?"</p><p>Klaus didn't respond. He folded his arms across his chest.</p><p>"C'mon, Klaus, work with me here."</p><p>Klaus huffed and his lower lip stuck out further.</p><p>"My favourite skinny jeans don't fit properly anymore," Klaus said, voice small.</p><p>"Did they shrink in the wash?"</p><p>"No. I'm gaining weight and I feel gross."</p><p>Diego set the ice cream down on the counter.</p><p>"Will you still love me if I'm fat?" Klaus asked.</p><p>"What?"</p><p>"Will you still love me if I'm fat?" Klaus repeated.</p><p>"Yeah, I heard you. Still doesn't make sense."</p><p>Klaus sighed dramatically and pouted.</p><p>"Should I ask?"</p><p>"Yes!" Klaus said emphatically. "What kind of question is that? <i>'Should you ask?'</i> Who do you take me for?"</p><p>Diego laughed despite himself. "C'mon, what's wrong?"</p><p>"I'm getting fat."</p><p>Diego raised an eyebrow. "Yeah, you're enormous," he said sarcastically.</p><p>"I hate you," Klaus huffed.</p><p>"In all seriousness, I don't actually know what you're talking about."</p><p>Klaus' sigh was put-upon. "It sometimes happens in recovery. You get fat."</p><p>"You're not fat," Diego said flatly.</p><p>"But I'm gonna be," Klaus insisted. "I'm always hungry, and whenever I get cravings, I eat stuff." He gestured at the ice cream with his head.  </p><p>"You won't get fat. You're not fat. And if you were, there's nothing wrong with that. But seriously, you're not. You'd still probably fit in one leg of my sweatpants if you tried."</p><p>Klaus looked completely miserable.</p><p>"You wanna know something?" Diego asked, crossing his arms.</p><p>Klaus made a questioning sound.</p><p>"I love that you're not all skin and bones now. It doesn't feel like I'm gonna break you in half when I fuck you anymore."</p><p>Klaus blinked several times, and his eyes took on a faraway look. "Huh," Klaus said distantly. "You <i>have</i> been rougher with me."</p><p>"I have," Diego confirmed. "Fucking you doesn't feel like I'm risking snapping you like a twig. I <i>like</i> how you look right now. And if you gained another ten, or twenty, or thirty pounds, I'd still think you're so fucking hot that I wanna rail you five times a day, and pop a boner on my lunch break when I think about you."</p><p>"Yeah?" Klaus asked, biting his lower lip.</p><p>"Yeah. Trust me, I've never once thought <i>'gee, I love how I can count his ribs'</i> or <i>'I love that his hip bones feel like glass under my hands'</i>." He pushed off the counter and moved between Klaus' legs, resting his hands on Klaus' thighs. The dressing gown was thick and fluffy beneath his fingers.</p><p>Klaus looked at him through his eyelashes, and he still had a sad little look on his face, although there was some hopefulness in there too now.</p><p>"But I probably should stop eating ice cream every day, right?"</p><p>"Nah," Diego said. "You look so fucking happy when you do. You sit there reading, and you make these happy little hums when you take a mouthful sometimes. It's adorable." He smiled. "And when you get those pastries from the bakery near the light rail, you do a little dance with your hips."</p><p>Klaus' cheeks were pink. He bit his lip.</p><p>"I like taking care of you," Diego said as he brought a hand up to rest on Klaus' cheek, stroking the freshly shaved skin with his thumb. "I like that you don't look like you're half-dying anymore."</p><p>Klaus was starting to smile now, looking so shy. No matter how much Diego saw it (and it really wasn't all that often), it still struck him as strange to see shyness on Klaus. Diego loved how confident Klaus was, but he loved that he got to see those moments of vulnerability too. He loved that Klaus <i>let</i> him see that.</p><p>"But what about my clothes that don't fit?"</p><p>"We'll get you new ones," Diego said with a shrug. "I know how much you hate shopping," he teased.</p><p>Klaus' smile was more genuine. "Promise you don't think I'm fat?"</p><p>"Did I, or did I not, fuck you stupid less than an hour ago?"</p><p>"You can still fuck things you don't think are pretty," Klaus pointed out.</p><p>Diego raised an eyebrow.</p><p>Klaus rolled his eyes. "<i>Fine</i>. You think I'm pretty."</p><p>"Plus another thousand words," Diego confirmed.</p><p>"Yeah? Like what?"</p><p>"Are you fishing for compliments here?"</p><p>"Of course," Klaus said impishly.</p><p>Diego chuckled and tilted Klaus' face so that he could kiss him softly. "I think you're pretty," he said between kisses. "And sexy. And hot. And adorable. And wonderfully slutty. I think you're so fucking hot when you're taking my dick, and you're all spread out on the bed beneath me. Your cheeks get all pink, and you blush down to your goddamn nipples, and I fucking love it. I love watching you try on clothes whenever we go shopping and how happy you look when we do. I also like that you're losing less hair now, because it doesn't get stuck in the shower drain for <i>me</i> to clean."</p><p>Klaus laughed and shoved him away. "You were doing so well, and then you had to ruin it."</p><p>Diego grinned and kissed him again. "I love watching you ride my dick, and use it like your own personal sex toy."</p><p>"That's because it is my own personal sex toy," Klaus said, smiling against his mouth.</p><p>"I love the curve of your back when you're bent over for me, and the pretty way you bat your eyelashes just before choking yourself on my dick."</p><p>Klaus' legs at his sides were tightening and coming up around Diego's waist, bringing him in closer. The dressing gown made it easy to slide Klaus to the edge of the counter and pull Klaus against him.</p><p>"I love that you're so fucking filthy and any time I think <i>'Jesus, he couldn't possibly get any hotter'</i>, you do something so fucking hot it leaves me speechless."</p><p>"I do like making you speechless," Klaus admitted, tipping his head back when Diego started to kiss down his neck.</p><p>"And you do it so well." He pushed the dressing down up to the tops of Klaus' thighs, teasing at the edges of Klaus' underwear. Klaus was hard against Diego's stomach. "Want me to show you how hot I think you are?"</p><p>Klaus nodded furiously.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>"Hargreeves?"</p><p>Diego looked up from his work. The instructor was at the door, talking with what Diego thought he recognised as an administrator. He wracked his brain instantly to try and figure out how he could have fucked up now. He hadn't done anything wrong, he was sure of it.</p><p>The instructor beckoned with her head for him to come over. Diego did, trying not to let his dread show. He could feel the eyes of his colleagues on him, although they tried to make it look like they weren't watching.</p><p>"Everything okay, Sergeant?" Diego pushed his shoulders back and made sure he was standing up straight in a way that would have made Reginald Hargreeves proud.</p><p>"We just had a call from <i>The City Art Gallery</i> saying they need you to come and get your brother," the administrator said kindly.</p><p>"My—"</p><p>"He became unwell and passed out. They want you to take him to a doctor, but they said if you can't make it, they're happy to send him in an ambulance."</p><p>Diego felt vaguely nauseated and his heart was hammering wildly. He looked at the Sergeant and hoped that his next question wouldn't get him kicked out of the Police Academy.</p><p>"May I be excused?" He was relieved that his stutter didn't come out; he'd always struggled with his M's.</p><p>The Sergeant nodded sharply. "Family emergency. Try not to let it become a habit." Although she was firm in her tone, she didn't look bothered. If anything, she looked sympathetic.</p><p>"Thank you, ma'am." He looked at the administrator, and nodded at her. "Thank you for the message."</p><p>Diego hurried back to his table and shoved his books away. Once again, Reginald's training was a blessing. Not only did it make him one of the best in any physical work, but he had the skill to push through the panic and the adrenaline and not to let his fear show.</p><p>He felt eyes on him as he hurried from the classroom, but the opinions of his colleagues were the least of his worries.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Catching a cab was far from the wisest financial choice, but the light rail would have taken just shy of fifty minutes. The cab, by contrast, took around fifteen. He tried to reassure himself that if Klaus were really in a bad way, the gallery wouldn't have called him. Instead, he'd have received a call from the hospital.</p><p>It didn't soothe his anxiety all that much.</p><p>
  <i>If Klaus had relapsed…</i>
</p><p>His mind cruelly supplied images of Klaus lying on the marbled floors of the gallery. Instead of the skinny jeans and thigh-length sweater he'd left the house in that morning though, he was wearing navy velvet trousers and little else, just as he'd been when Diego had come home and found—</p><p>He cut those thoughts off as soon as they came. He couldn't afford to think of that, not right now. (Not ever).</p><p>When he arrived at the gallery, he had to force himself not to run in and demand to see Klaus. Instead, he walked briskly to the front desk, and explained why he was there.</p><p>"Oh! Right this way!" The man at the desk—what appeared to be a college kid in a vibrantly coloured shirt and pants so tight that Klaus would be envious—led him through a door behind the counter. "Just down the hall. It's the second to last door on the left. Just give me a shout if you need any help. I'd come back there, but Jeanie's on her break so I need to watch the front desk."</p><p>"Yeah, no worries, man. Thanks," Diego said, and hurried down the corridor.</p><p>Klaus was sitting in what appeared to be a staff lunch room, a towel pressed to the side of his head. He looked bored, rather than anything more concerning. When Diego stepped into the room, Klaus sat up a little taller. His smile was more like a grimace.</p><p>"Hi?" Klaus said, guilt written in every line of his face.</p><p>Diego wasn't happy about the situation, but it didn't appear as dire as he had feared. At least Klaus was conscious.</p><p>"What happened?" Diego demanded, pushing into the room and coming around the table to stand beside him. Klaus' shoulder was still so bony in his hand. Klaus unsuccessfully attempted to shrug him off.</p><p>"Nothing, nothing," Klaus huffed.</p><p>"Did you take anything?" Diego hadn't meant for that to slip out, but it did anyway.</p><p>"No!" Klaus scowled up at him, green eyes bright and blazing.</p><p>"Then what happened?"</p><p>Klaus rolled his eyes and then winced. "I was trying to summon a ghost and I don't know what happened, but I did it, and then I felt dizzy and next thing I knew, I was on the ground."</p><p>Diego clenched his jaw and then asked, "So you didn't take anything?"</p><p>"No! Christ. I'm clean as a whistle. I just pushed too hard without realising. Call off the dogs, Two. Jeeze."</p><p>Diego exhaled heavily. "Okay. Sorry, sorry. Just..." he shook his head, trying to clear it of unpleasant thoughts.</p><p>"It's fine," Klaus said, waving offhandedly. "I didn't mean to. I'm still new to this whole thing. S'not like Dad ever taught me anything useful."</p><p>Diego smiled wryly. "At least we can agree on that one."</p><p>Klaus snorted and looked up at him. "We can agree on a lot more than that." He looked tired, and his expression was tight with what Diego assumed was pain.</p><p>"Sorry," Diego huffed, feeling guilty now that some of the panic had subsided.</p><p>"I promised I'd let you know if I wanted to use," Klaus pointed out with a pout.</p><p>"Yeah, I know." Diego sighed and moved closer. "Can I..." he hovered a hand near Klaus' head.</p><p>Klaus nodded and lifted the tea-towel covered ice pack away. Diego pushed past the damp hair, inspecting. From what he could tell, there wasn't any broken skin, but the lump was impressive.</p><p>"Hit it on the way down?"</p><p>"I guess." He looked at something past Diego's arm. "Yeah, apparently."</p><p>"Thanks, Ben," Diego said absently. "I think we should get this checked out, just to be on the safe side"</p><p>"Honestly, my knees and shoulder hurt more than my head," Klaus said. "I think they got the brunt of it."</p><p>"Yeah, but if you've got a concussion and die on me, I'm going to be real pissed off. I can't suck my own dick, you know."</p><p>Klaus cackled. "Not with that attitude, you can't."</p><p>Diego helped Klaus to his feet, watching carefully for any signs that he might fall again. Klaus swayed for a brief moment but otherwise seemed okay. Diego grabbed Klaus' jacket off the table and helped him into it. Another knot in his stomach loosened. Diego cupped the back of his head and kissed Klaus' forehead. Klaus hummed happily and leaned against him.</p><p>"Sorry for worrying you."</p><p>"It's okay. Sorry for worrying," Diego said as he put his arm around Klaus' shoulder. He told himself it was just in case Klaus fell again, but really, he just wanted to be close to him, to feel his warmth and to know that he was, without a doubt, alive.</p><p>"It's okay. I know it's 'cause you love me."</p><p>"Something like that."</p><p>Klaus turned his head and kissed Diego sweetly. "Thanks for coming to get me."</p><p>"Anytime, baby."</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>"Well, someone's a ray of sunshine today," Patch said when they were doing their warm-up stretches. They had another physical test today, and Diego was planning on winning it, like he had almost every other time.</p><p>"I'm always like this," Diego said flatly, pulling his head to the side to stretch his neck.</p><p>"I know. You're such a joy to be around. It's surprising you haven't made any friends."</p><p>Diego rolled his eyes. "Not here to make friends, Patch."</p><p>"That's fortunate because you're terrible at it."</p><p>"I'm not trying to make friends. If I wanted friends, then, yeah, I'd be good at it. But I don't actually care."</p><p>Patch quirked an eyebrow. "If you say so," she said, dragging the words out, her tone disbelieving. She released her ankle from behind her. "Loser has to buy drinks."</p><p>"I don't lose," Diego said.</p><p>"Then I guess you won't be buying, will you?"</p><p>Diego narrowed his eyes at her. He was absolutely going to win this.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>"Hey, Hargreeves?"</p><p>Diego looked back at Patch, hoping his expression was neutral. Training had been surprisingly brutal today, and Diego was running on less sleep than usual. He'd woken up every night since Klaus had passed out at the museum, breathing heavily and feeling sick to his stomach. The nightmares, which had eased somewhat in the recent months, had returned with a force that had more than once left him hunched over the toilet, hoping desperately that Klaus would continue sleeping peacefully in bed.</p><p>He was tired, and very much not in the mood for Patch's shit today. Just about everyone else left him the hell alone, but it seemed she took particular joy in grating at him.</p><p>"I was serious about the drinks. Meet you out front in twenty? Unless your girly routine means you need longer."</p><p>Diego rolled his eyes. He wasn't interested. He was tired, and he wanted to go home and snuggle against Klaus except… He realised that Klaus was working that afternoon. He wouldn't even be home for another few hours. Diego hesitated and opened his mouth and closed it before saying, "Fine."</p><p>"Gee, don't look so excited," she muttered.</p><p>In the locker room, Diego sent Klaus a message advising him he'd be home later than usual—after Klaus had fainted earlier that week, Diego had finally bitten the bullet and bought them both phones. Klaus replied with a series of hearts and smiley faces and some other symbols that Diego didn't understand. He took it to mean that Klaus was fine with his plans. He rinsed off quickly and changed back into his uniform, putting a hoodie over the top of it to hide it.</p><p>Patch and (ugh) Beeman were waiting out the front when he got there.</p><p>Diego hesitated and then decided to just pretend he was dealing with Allison and Luther. They weren't better than him; Diego was just as good as them, and he could prove it.</p><p>Beeman fixed him with an unimpressed look as he trotted down the stairs, and Diego rolled his eyes.</p><p>"So, where are we going?"</p><p>"I know a spot."</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>"What do you drink?"</p><p>The bar was busier than Diego would have liked, but it was a Friday night so that wasn't unexpected. He might have once liked these kinds of places, full of music and people, but the smell of alcohol just reminded him too much of Klaus and not in any good ways.</p><p>Diego blinked at Patch a few times before saying, "Uh, I don't really drink. My. My uh, husband… Uh. I'll just have whatever you're having."</p><p>Patch raised an eyebrow and looked at Beeman.</p><p>Beeman shrugged. "The usual."</p><p>Patch nodded and disappeared off to the bar.</p><p>Beeman and Diego sat there silently, neither looking at the other.</p><p>Finally, Beeman asked awkwardly, "So, uh, husband?"</p><p>Diego was so tense he didn't know he could stiffen further, but apparently he could. "Is that a problem?" he asked mildly, wishing he had his knives here to fiddle with. He was so used to his own little bubble with Klaus that he forgot homophobia was still rife in the rest of the world.</p><p>"No, no," Beeman said, holding up his hands placatingly.</p><p>"Don't tell me you're already fighting," Patch said with a huff as she got back to the booth and sat beside Beeman.</p><p>"We're not," Beeman said. "I was just asking him about his husband."</p><p>"Oh good. I was wondering about that too."</p><p>Diego raised an eyebrow, keeping the rest of his expression flat.</p><p>Patch shrugged. "We're all pretty young, and I somehow can't picture it being the typical shotgun wedding because, well…" She gave him a look.</p><p>Diego felt weirdly relieved. It was just because they were young, not because Diego was… Diego didn't know if he was gay or bi or whether he was whatever the other word Klaus used was. For Diego, it had only ever been about Klaus.</p><p>"Uh, yeah," Diego said, forcing lightness into his voice. "It was kind of a, you know, drunken decision. But we've known each other for a long time and we were together anyway so…" He shrugged with what he hoped was casualness.</p><p>Patch smiled and Beeman chuckled.  </p><p>"We've all been there, man," Beeman said. "Well, not the getting married part. But the dumbass decisions while drunk."</p><p>Diego shrugged with one shoulder. "I mean, I've made dumber choices sober. Marrying Klaus wasn't really a mistake." And he knew, deep down, that one day he really would marry Klaus.</p><p>"Ooh, the Husband has a name," Beeman said. "Klaus. <i>Klaus</i>." He said it again, this time in an accent. "Is that German?" </p><p>Diego shrugged. "Dunno. Maybe. He was adopted. But uh. Yeah. I don't regret it." </p><p>"Aww," Eudora said, with only some of her usual sarcasm. "Well, I'm not getting married until I make detective. Maybe not even then."</p><p>"No man would ever be worthy of you anyway," Beeman joked.</p><p>"Yeah, well, you've got that right," she said, quirking an eyebrow as she  took a sip of her iced water.</p><p>Diego sat silently as her and Beeman exchanged barbs until their drinks arrived. Diego didn't recognise the beer set in front of him; he'd never seen Klaus drinking beer at all.</p><p>When the other two held up their drinks to cheers, he knocked his against theirs and took a sip. It was a struggle not to show his distaste—god, this was horrible. No wonder Klaus stuck to wine and other spirits. It must have shown on his face though because Patch snorted with laughter.</p><p>After a few more sips and stilted conversation, Patch squared her shoulders and looked at him, gaze steady. "So, Hargreeves. What's going on?"</p><p>"What do you mean?"</p><p>"You left early the other day. They'd only allow that if it was an emergency."</p><p>"Oh, right." Diego picked at the label on his beer. "Yeah, it's okay. Klaus passed out at the art gallery downtown and hit his head. They wanted me to take him to a doctor, or they'd send him to the emergency room."</p><p>"Shit, man, is he okay?" Beeman asked.</p><p>"Yeah, he's fine. Mild concussion, but not too bad."</p><p>"Is that why you're not drinking?" Patch asked, cocking her head.</p><p>"No." He hesitated, wondering how much to say. "We don't drink." He barely knew them; half a beer was hardly a friendship in which he professed the deep, dark feelings that surrounded Klaus and addiction.</p><p>Patch was still studying him as she took another sip of her beer.</p><p>"How come?"</p><p>"Uh. Just don't." He hesitated before finally saying, "He finished rehab earlier this year. It's just easier to not drink. Don't wanna set off a relapse or something, I guess."</p><p>Diego took a sip of his beer and didn't look at them, just in case there was pity or judgement on their faces. He didn't know which he'd hate more. When he finally looked back at them, there was something that bordered between pity and compassion. Diego clenched his jaw.</p><p>"Why do you care all of a sudden?"</p><p>"Because, Hargreeves, contrary to how you go about life, other humans sometimes show compassion and empathy towards others."</p><p>"Gross." God, he sounded like Klaus. </p><p>"Ha. Hilarious." She shrugged. "I figured there had been an emergency and given the additional bitchiness, thought I'd do what any decent human would, and ask if you're okay."</p><p>Diego wrinkled his nose and sighed. "Thanks, I guess. It's okay. Just been a long few days."</p><p>Beeman set his drink down and said, "Look man, I know we got off on the wrong foot. Repeatedly. And I don't like you—"</p><p>"The feeling is more than mutual," Diego said back, a little smile at the corners of his mouth.</p><p>"—but you're still a colleague of ours and you're good at what you do. If you need something… I don't expect you'll want to have long deep and meaningful's or to braid each other's hair—"</p><p>"Aww, c'mon Beeman, you'd look great with pigtails."</p><p>"—but if you wanted to, I don't know, grab a beer and play darts—"</p><p>"I'd absolutely kick your ass."</p><p>"—oh my <i>god</i>. Can you can it with the sassy comments?"</p><p>"Unlikely." But Diego grinned, and Beeman and Patch looked to be a weird mix of exasperated and amused. And then Patch smiled broadly.</p><p>"But seriously. That's some tough shit. You don't have to go through it alone."</p><p>Diego's smile was tight. He didn't have to go through this alone? He wanted to laugh bitterly.</p><p>Ever since he'd left, he'd had to do so much alone. Yes, he had Klaus, but those darker thoughts, the difficulties he'd faced… He'd done his best to shield Klaus from what he could, to never let Klaus see how much things hurt him, how badly they affected him. He had tried not to let Klaus see how anxious he'd been knowing that Klaus was out there selling himself, although he knew he hadn't always been successful. When Klaus had OD'd, he'd tried to hide how deeply devastated he was.</p><p>He remembered the nights Klaus had been in rehab, when Diego had lain alone on the mattress he was so used to sharing, and he'd curled around the pillow, desperately trying to stifle the need to sob like his heart was breaking. He'd contemplated calling Mom a few times, just wanting to hear her chirpy voice, to hear her call him <i>'silly billy'</i>, and tell him he was loved and everything would be okay. He hadn't, because he didn't want Pogo or their Father to overhear anything.</p><p>Allison had tried to ask once or twice how Diego was doing, but he liked to think he’d navigated around that. Other than that, nobody had asked if he was okay. He'd been glad for that because if someone had asked, Diego might have felt compelled to answer, and to answer truthfully.</p><p>And then where would they have been?</p><p>He had managed to hide the nightmares. He'd managed to hide the panic he felt, the way his guts twisted and his heart leapt into his throat any time Klaus had a bad day.</p><p>If he wasn't strong here, then the tiny life the two of them had built would crumble around them. He loved Klaus with everything he had, but he wasn't an idiot. There was no way he could let Klaus see any hint of weakness in him; if he did, it was almost certain Klaus would fall with him.</p><p>Diego had forced himself to be okay because there was no other alternative.</p><p>He realised he'd been silent for too long, and Patch and Beeman were looking at him with matching concerned expressions.</p><p>He smiled, but it felt fake. "Uh, thanks, I guess." He took another mouthful of his beer. It tasted just as bad as before but he managed to hide his distaste this time. Wanting to lighten the mood, he said, "Don't think this means I'm going to stop kicking your ass at the Academy though."</p><p>Patch laughed. "Oh no, Hargreeves. When I finally beat you, it's going to be fair and square, not because you went easy on me. And trust me, I <i>will</i> beat you one day."</p><p>"Until then," Diego said, pointedly taking another sip of his beer, "drinks are on you, right, Patch?"</p><p>Patch rolled her eyes. "We'll see about that." She paused. "And I <i>suppose</i> you can call me Eudora. If you must."</p><p>"You can keep calling me Beeman though," Beeman said.</p><p>"You can call me anything except late to dinner," Diego said back.</p><p>Patch balled up a napkin and threw it at him. It missed. Diego laughed, and so did she and Beeman.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>When Diego got home, he went straight to the bathroom and brushed his teeth furiously, rinsing with mouthwash twice so that there would be no lingering smell of alcohol on him.</p><p>Klaus was lying on the bed, curled up under one of the fluffy blankets that was usually thrown over the couch. He had one of his textbooks in hand and he was looking at Diego with an amused expression.</p><p>"Did you have a dentist appointment today or something?"</p><p>"Fuck you, I floss most days," Diego said, leaning against the doorframe.</p><p>"That seemed awfully intense, was all," Klaus said lightly, absently tapping his fingers over the cover of the book.</p><p>"Are you reading that for <i>fun</i>?" Diego asked when he realised there weren't any pens or notebooks around Klaus to indicate that he was studying.</p><p>"Shut up! You're the nerd!" Klaus said with a scowl.</p><p>"I didn't say you were a nerd, baby," Diego laughed, crawling up the bed on his knees. He pulled the book out of Klaus' hands and leaned down to kiss him. He blindly set the book on the bedhead, enjoying the way Klaus was pulling him in by the collar of his shirt. "But, you are one, just so you know."</p><p>Klaus shoved him away with a laugh and then pulled him back in. "Did you have a good evening?"</p><p>Diego hesitated before nodding. "Yeah, I think so."</p><p>"What resounding confidence. Truly."</p><p>"Yeah, like you're any better at making friends," Diego teased. Klaus was better at it, at least with those surface-level friendships where you could share notes for classes, and maybe grab a coffee together, but anything more? He was just as useless at it as Diego was.</p><p>"It's not my fault I'm prettier than all the other kids at school," Klaus said flippantly. "Maybe that's why you don't have friends," Klaus mused. "You're definitely prettier than everyone, except me."</p><p>"Sure, that's it," Diego said sarcastically. "Nothing to do with my general misanthropy."</p><p>"Absolutely irrelevant." Klaus kissed him once, twice, three, four more times, grinning up at him.</p><p>Diego sat down beside him and shuffled closer, putting his arm around Klaus' shoulders. Klaus was wearing a thick, knobbly cardigan that looked like it should have been softer. Once Klaus was settled against Diego's side, and the blanket was thrown over both of their legs, Diego asked, "Wanna tell me about what you were reading?"</p><p>Klaus perked up, as if Diego didn't ask him the same question every day.</p><p>"Wait," Klaus said suddenly, frowning.</p><p>"What?"</p><p>Klaus tugged at Diego's uniform. "Off with its head. The buttons are right where my ear is!"</p><p>Diego huffed and pushed him away so he could strip down to his tank top. At Klaus' raised eyebrow, he took that off too. Klaus then nodded at the pants. Diego shook his head, incredulous but amused, and removed them.</p><p>"Happy now?"</p><p>"Not quite," Klaus said, tapping his lower lip with one long finger. Then, he turned it and crooked it in a come-hither motion. Who was Diego to resist?</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Diego was three fingers deep, and Klaus' eyes were rolling back in his head. His arms were above his head, braced against the headboard as Diego worked on turning him into a total mess.</p><p>"I hate you so much," Klaus cried, still moving back against Diego's hand.</p><p>"Aww, you say that, but you don't mean it," Diego said, really working his fingers now and making Klaus' stomach and thighs tremble.</p><p>Klaus looked like he was trying to get words out, but they kept getting lost in desperate little pants. His fingers scrabbled at the headboard before he let go. His hands shot out and grabbed Diego by the hair, dragging him down so that their faces were inches apart.</p><p>"Fuck me," Klaus managed, and Diego was more than a little impressed at how fierce Klaus could look at the same time as looking like he was going out of his goddamn mind.</p><p>Diego wanted to laugh, and agree, but <i>fuck</i>, yeah. He wanted that.</p><p>He pulled his fingers out and it was testament to how desperate Klaus was that he didn't even protest when Diego wiped his lubed fingers on Klaus' thigh. Diego slicked himself up, brought one of Klaus' legs up over his shoulder, and fucked inside. It punched a moan out of Klaus, and instantly Diego felt nails digging into his shoulders.</p><p>He didn't allow himself even a breath to relish the sensation. He wanted to keep making Klaus make those sounds. His hands gripped Klaus' shoulders, making damn sure that Klaus took everything he gave him. Klaus' moans grew louder as Diego shifted the angle, nailing him exactly how Klaus loved it. Klaus' words were a frantic mess of <i>yes</i> and <i>please</i> and <i>oh god</i> and it drove Diego mad.</p><p>Klaus wrenched his hands down and slipped a hand around Diego's wrist. Diego slowed a little, confused. Klaus pulled the hand to his throat, biting his lower lip and nodding furiously at Diego's questioning look.</p><p><i>Fuck</i>.</p><p>They'd done some incidental breath play before, mostly just Diego shoving Klaus' face into a pillow. He loved the way Klaus tightened around him, the way Klaus gasped when Diego dragged his head up by the hair, and the way he twitched when his air was running out.</p><p>"C'mon," Klaus said, kicking him with the leg wrapped around his waist.</p><p>"Yeah, alright," Diego breathed, leaning in to kiss him before he let his hand settle on Klaus' neck. His blood was pounding, and <i>fuck</i>, Klaus felt so good around him. Klaus' eyes rolled back and Diego could feel the vibration of Klaus' moans under his hand.</p><p>He squeezed tighter. Klaus' sound was strangled and the way he was looking at Diego was so <i>good</i>. It was so good and it felt so good and Klaus felt so good around him, around his cock, his legs around his waist, and—</p><p>Klaus' lips were changing colour. Not much, but—</p><p>Diego closed his eyes, mentally shaking the image away. He didn't need to look at Klaus' face for this, he knew how to do this.</p><p>He just needed to get his head back into things. He tried to focus on something else, like how hot Klaus was against him, the way sweat was beginning to trickle down his spine and temples. He could hear the slight creaking of the mattress and Klaus' raspy little sounds and—</p><p>He opened his eyes again and Klaus' lips—</p><p>They were—</p><p>They looked like—</p><p>Just barely, but still, just like when—</p><p>Diego's heart was racing and not for any good reasons. He could hear his pulse thudding against his ears.</p><p>He yanked his hand away from Klaus' throat and Klaus choked in a gasp, clenching around him again. It should have felt good, but Diego felt sick. It felt wrong. He sat back up and pulled out in one jerky motion, and then sat on his heels. Klaus made a little whining sound when he realised that Diego hadn't just pulled out to change position.</p><p>"Wha?" Klaus asked, pushing up onto his elbows. He wasn't being demanding, or getting angry at Diego; instead, he looked concerned. It spoke volumes. Diego couldn't even begin to imagine what his own face must look like to bring out that reaction so quickly in Klaus.</p><p>"'iego?" Klaus asked slowly, sitting up. "You okay?"</p><p>"Yeah, yeah, I'm good," Diego lied. His heart was just beating really, really hard. It didn't hurt like this when he was running. Maybe he should have had a snack with his beer or something, and was drunk.</p><p>But he couldn't remember alcohol doing this to him before.</p><p>"I—just need a second," he got out. "Alcohol went to my head a bit, I think."</p><p>Klaus nodded and shifted into a more comfortable position.</p><p>"Sure," he said slowly.</p><p>Diego closed his eyes and exhaled. He swallowed around a dry mouth. He opened his eyes and looked at Klaus; Klaus' smile didn't reach his eyes. Diego did his best to return it.</p><p>"Sorry," Diego muttered, and leaned forward to kiss him, cupping his cheek. Klaus was terrible at growing a beard, but Diego could still feel stubble in places along his jawline. Klaus' lips were warm under his, just like they'd been—<i>no</i>, he wasn't going to think like that. He deepened the kiss, determined to beat those thoughts.</p><p>He could do this, damn it.</p><p>He could choke Klaus if he wanted, if Klaus wanted that. He knew how to run until his legs stopped working, how to do push-ups until his arms gave out, and he knew how to bite his tongue until it bled; it was mind over matter.</p><p>He could fucking do this.</p><p>He shoved Klaus back onto the bed. Klaus gave a delighted <i>'oof'</i> and dragged Diego down on top of him, his fingers buried in Diego's hair. Diego had gone soft, but that was okay, he just needed to kiss Klaus a bit more, feel his body like this. He could—</p><p>He dragged his hand down Klaus' jaw to settle on his throat again. Klaus' moan vibrated under it. Diego tightened his hand, and Klaus' breathing became sharp and thin. Diego bit Klaus' lower lip, easing the intensity of the kiss so he could focus on this, on every delightful reaction it brought out of him.</p><p>When he pulled back, he brushed his nose against Klaus' and through his own lidded eyes gazed into Klaus'. His eyelashes were so long, and Diego was fascinated by the slow way Klaus blinked. Under him, Klaus was starting to shake faintly. Diego kissed him, a gentle press of the lips before he bit Klaus' lip again, dragging it through his teeth. Klaus' moan was thready.</p><p>And then Diego made the mistake of glancing down. He hadn't even meant to do it.</p><p>He pulled away as if burnt.</p><p>"I can't," fell from his lips without permission.</p><p>Klaus shook his head to clear it. "Huh?"</p><p>"I can't," Diego repeated, voice weak. "I—your lips… They…" He stopped, trying to steady his breathing. His heart rate had shot up again.</p><p>"They…?" Klaus said slowly when Diego didn't finish his sentence.</p><p>"I can't. I—just—your skin was so cold. And. And your lips were blue. And your skin was—" Diego ran a hand over his face. His ears were starting to ring. A strange sensation was rushing down his neck, something both icy and burning at the same time.</p><p>"My what?"</p><p>"I…" Diego swallowed around the tightness in his throat, but he couldn't make the words come out. He didn't <i>know</i> what the words were.</p><p>"Diego," Klaus started before he stopped and shivered. He looked around and pulled his lumpy sweater on. After a brief pause, he grabbed Diego's sleeping hoodie off the end of the bed and gave it to him. Diego put it on, too busy still struggling with his breathing to put up a fight.</p><p>"Now, try to tell me what's wrong," Klaus said, watching him intently.</p><p>"I…" Diego tried again, but he couldn't. He couldn't get the words out.</p><p>"Diego, I'm not trying to be a dick. I'm genuinely confused here. What was that about my—my mouth? Was that it?"</p><p>Diego nodded. "When you… When—" Diego felt like an idiot, like he'd been thrown back into his ten-year-old body, unable to formulate the sentences in his mind. The words weren't clear, but the image was. He could feel how cold that room was, and the sickening crunch, and—no, <i>no</i>, he wasn't going to think about that. He couldn't think about that.</p><p>"Oh," Klaus said softly. "When I OD'd?"</p><p>Diego nodded, still unable to swallow the lump in his throat.</p><p>"I wasn't aware it still bothered—well, I mean, of course it still bothers you but—"</p><p>Diego laughed bitterly, wetly. His fingers felt funny; it was an odd thing to notice at a time like this.</p><p>"I wish it didn't," Diego admitted, surprised that the words were able to come out even though his body didn't feel like it was really his just then. "I wish it didn't, but—But it's always there. It's always there and it never goes away and—" His mind kept supplying the images, over and over. Not just how Klaus had looked on the floor, but Klaus in the hospital bed, the days he'd seen Klaus in withdrawal, his red eyes when he was high, and—</p><p>It wasn't just that evening. It was the culmination of this whole year, even longer, since he'd grabbed a vomiting Klaus and snuck him out of the Academy.</p><p>"But it never goes away. I'm always scared. I'm always scared I'll come home and find you like… And. And. Even though you're doing good now, you were doing okay before. Or I thought you were. And I was <i>wrong</i>. And it. It." The words were pouring out of him now and he couldn't stop them. He couldn't picture the words but his stutter wasn't flaring. He almost wanted his stutter back so that the words would stop; he wanted them to stop, because he didn't want Klaus to know, Klaus <i>couldn't</i> know this and— "Please… Please tell me if you… If you wanna use or something is wrong. I know you have your sponsor and your therapist but… Please." He could barely make sense of what he was saying, and his voice sounded so <i>desperate</i>, and he hated it.</p><p>"Yeah, yeah, of course, I promise, I promise, just like I did before," Klaus said, voice soothing. He was watching Diego wide-eyed and Diego <i>hated</i> that there was something like pity in his expression.</p><p>Against his will, though, the words kept coming. "And it never stops. I come home and I see you asleep and my heart stops. I have to stop myself from waking you up, and I <i>can't</i> stop myself from checking if you're breathing. Because if I don't and you're… And I didn't know… And I come home and you look happy and I think 'he didn't look this happy before,'. And it never stops. It doesn't matter what happens, it's always there and… And… I can't breathe. I… Why can't I breathe?" Diego tried to suck in air, but his throat was tight and his head was spinning and his hands were shaking so badly. He put them on his knees to hide how much they were trembling, and his throat was closed, and he couldn't breathe and yet he was breathing too fast, unable to keep anything in his lungs and—</p><p>Klaus' voice came through the weird static in his mind, gentle at first and then firmer. "Hey, hey, it's okay." He felt Klaus' hand on his shoulders through his hoodie, but they didn't feel real. "Just listen to the sound of my voice, okay? We're gonna breathe in, two, three, four, five. Hold, two, three, four, five, six. And out, two, three, four, five, six, seven. Good, good. Now again. In…"</p><p>It was hard. It was hard to get the air to go in for that long and to hold it when his lungs were screaming at him that he couldn't breathe and his head was pounding and he could hear his heartbeat in his ears, and it was so loud, and. And.</p><p>Klaus talked to Diego until his head stopped spinning. His skin was clammy and sticky all over. He felt somehow all too present in his body and yet separated from it at the same time.</p><p>Slowly, his breathing steadied, and he was able to breathe in time with the numbers Klaus kept repeating.</p><p>Finally, he managed to gasp, "What the fuck was that?"</p><p>"Congratulations, you just had your first panic attack. Yay." Klaus' smile was wry as he did jazz hands, the tattoos on his palms stark against his pale skin.</p><p>"That… That was unpleasant."</p><p>It seemed to startle a laugh out of Klaus and he took Diego's hands in his own. Diego could feel Klaus trying to make eye contact, although Diego did his best to avoid it.</p><p>Oh, no wonder Klaus hated it when he did this. It was horrible.</p><p>Finally, he looked back up. Klaus' eyes were soft and there was still that horrible pity on his face.</p><p>"If I disappear for a minute and a half, will you be okay? Or do you want to come with me?"</p><p>Diego swallowed. "I'm okay." He wasn't sure he was, but he didn't need Klaus to hold his hand forever. As soon as he let go, though, Diego regretted it.</p><p>Klaus nodded and stood, pressing a kiss to Diego's forehead before he disappeared into the kitchen.</p><p>Diego felt like he'd barely blinked before Klaus was scurrying back into the room, a giant steaming mug in hand. He set it on the nightstand, and then took Diego's hands again as he sat cross-legged on the bed.</p><p>"I'd offer you something stronger but we don't have anything stronger than Tylenol. So, I guess you get some peppermint tea."</p><p>Diego laughed weakly, and ran a hand over his face. He felt stupid. This whole thing was stupid. He didn't even know why he was so upset or where it had come from.</p><p>Klaus had put on underwear; when had he put on underwear? Why hadn't Diego noticed?</p><p>Diego felt silly, sitting there in his hoodie and nothing else and, although it took him longer than he'd have liked, he managed to locate his boxers and pull those on before he sat shakily down again. After a brief hesitation, he shifted so he was able to lean against the headboard. He was suddenly so exhausted, in ways he recognised but didn't want to think about.</p><p>Klaus gave him the mug; it felt too heavy in his shaking hand. When he tried to steady it, the ceramic was blistering, but oddly grounding. He didn't try to take a sip of the steaming drink yet, although he did let the smell wash over him.</p><p>Klaus was silent as he sat watching him.</p><p>Diego avoided looking at him.</p><p>Finally, Klaus spoke. "Do you want to talk about it?"</p><p>"Not really?"</p><p>Klaus hummed before saying, "Try again."</p><p>Diego rolled his eyes. "You can't make me," he pointed out, with a little more snark than he necessarily needed. He was still on-edge, and his skin was clammy and gross.</p><p>"No, but I <i>can</i> out-stubborn you."</p><p>Diego finally looked up at him so that he could make sure his incredulity was clear. "You really can't. You have the attention span of a goldfish, and all I need to do is throw something shiny and you'll chase after it."</p><p>"One, <i>ouch</i>. Two, do you wanna fuckin' try me here, Diego?"</p><p>He had a look on his face that Diego had seen very rarely through the course of their lives. Still, he knew it, and he knew that if Diego didn't give Klaus what he wanted, Klaus would pursue it with a fierce single-mindedness that was, frankly, intimidating. Klaus was chaos and glitter and cigarette smoke. He bounced off walls, and sometimes made Diego regret his access to caffeine. But when Klaus got into <i>that</i> mood, there was absolutely nothing Klaus would stop at.  </p><p>He hadn't even shown this determination when seeking his next hits. He used it when someone had truly wronged him, and Diego had been fortunate to have never been on the receiving side of that look before.</p><p>Somehow, seeing that look on Klaus then soothed him. It made the vice grip in his chest loosen, if only a little. Diego loved him so much that it <i>ached</i>.</p><p>Eventually, he exhaled. His fingers were hurting from the heat of the mug. He put it aside without taking a sip.</p><p>Klaus was still watching him, gaze steady and unflinching.</p><p>"I don't know what there is to say," Diego said, trying not to come across as helpless as he felt.</p><p>"Maybe you can start by telling me what's going on in that noggin' of yours?" Klaus suggested.</p><p>Diego looked away again. His throat was beginning to tighten again. His heart rate was starting to quicken. But he was so tired, almost as if his body didn't have the energy to give him another panic attack.</p><p>"I don't want to think about it." His voice sounded raspy. He looked down at his bare legs in front of him.</p><p>Klaus looked hesitant when Diego glanced up.</p><p>"Is it okay if I hug you?" Klaus asked.</p><p>Diego's eyes stung. He nodded mutely.</p><p>Klaus crawled forward on his knees and then straddled him. He wrapped his arms around Diego's neck, and buried his fingers in Diego's hair. Diego tucked his face into Klaus' shoulder. Klaus' sweater was scratchy against his cheek.</p><p>Tears Diego hadn't even realised he was holding started to leak from his eyes. Like his words before, as soon as they started, they didn't stop.</p><p>He felt Klaus kiss the side of his head and tighten his arms further.</p><p>Diego had never known the need to feel safe, but in that moment, this was the safest place in the world.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>"I know you won't like this but I think you should consider therapy."</p><p>They'd shifted on the bed so that they were lying down now. Klaus' legs were entwined with his and his fingers were wrapped around Diego’s wrists. Klaus had lit one of his candles for light, and the room was shadowy. Apparently the candle was meant to smell calming but Diego's nose was still stuffy.</p><p>Diego started to chew the inside of his lip but stopped given how raw it felt. He was silent for a long moment and closed his eyes. Finally, he exhaled. "I think you're probably right."</p><p>Klaus blinked in surprise. "Really? Not gonna fight me on this one? Therapy isn't an insult to your masculinity?"</p><p>Diego gave him a weak smile. "It doesn't feel particularly masculine to have a panic attack in the middle of sex because your boyfriend asks you to choke him." He ran a hand over his face, rubbing at his eyes. They were sore and a little damp.</p><p>Klaus' smile was too sympathetic and he cuddled close to Diego, bringing Diego in so that his head lay on Klaus' shoulder.</p><p>"I'm sorry I did that to you," Klaus whispered. Diego tightened his arm around him and kissed his collarbone.</p><p>"It's okay," Diego said.</p><p>"It's not. We both know it's not."</p><p>Diego shrugged. "I don't hold it against you. What's done is done."</p><p>"I know," Klaus sighed. "Still."</p><p>"Still," Diego agreed. Diego's arm lay across Klaus' stomach and he was pretty sure he <i>felt</i> it grumbling. "You hungry?"</p><p>Klaus chuckled. "Yeah, a little. It's okay though."</p><p>Diego rolled his eyes. "Let's order pizza. I should eat too."</p><p>Klaus' eyes widened. "Wow, you really <i>are</i> upset. I didn't know 'pizza' was in your vocabulary."</p><p>"Ha," Diego said flatly. "I'm tempted to make you a smoothie now, just for that."</p><p>Klaus laughed and rolled them so that he was sitting on Diego's stomach. He leaned down to kiss him. "You wouldn't. You love me too much."</p><p>"Yeah," Diego agreed, brain too fried to think of anything else. "I really do."</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Diego exhaled slowly and walked into the office. The receptionist smiled at him. He signed in and sat down. His palms were sweaty. He wiped them on his jeans, and tried to stop bouncing his leg. He zoned out a little, and tried to focus on the piano music above him.</p><p>"Diego?"</p><p>Diego jolted out of his reverie. Hannah smiled at him, expression warm. Diego stood. His own smile felt tremulous but he forced it to behave.</p><p>"I'm glad to see you back here," Hannah said as she shut the office door behind him.</p><p>Diego sat down when she nodded for him to, and poured him some water.</p><p>"Uh, yeah," he said, stilted. His palms were sweating still. He tried to smile again, but his heart was rabbit-fast. He took a sip of the water to try and cool his nerves.</p><p>"So, how has this week been?" Hannah asked as she settled into her chair. She folded her hands in her lap and crossed her legs. Her heels looked a lot like Mom's. Her makeup did too, but he'd noticed that on his first visit. She reminded him a lot of Mom, actually. She was warm and chirpy, and even though Diego was terrified here, there was something soothing, something comforting about her. </p><p>"It's been okay," Diego said after he cleared his throat. "Work's okay. I… I like being out in the field, even though it can get a bit boring. It feels good though, feeling useful."</p><p>She nodded, wordlessly encouraging him to continue.</p><p>"Klaus is doing well. He did really good in his classes. A's in everything except the pre-calculus classes. But he always hated math, and he still got a B so he's pretty happy with that. He's taking some summer classes now. I thought a break would be good but his therapist said it would be good to keep busy."</p><p>"Good. That sounds like a good plan."</p><p>Diego nodded.</p><p>"How are <i>you</i> feeling about everything?"</p><p>"I'm just glad he's happy," Diego said without thinking. "He's making more time for me, after… You know."</p><p>"I do. Do you think it was a good idea to tell him?"</p><p>"Yeah, I guess." He hadn't <i>liked</i> mentioning that he felt forgotten amidst Klaus' studies. It had been uncomfortable, and vulnerable, and raw. But Hannah, and Klaus (or rather, Klaus' therapist by way of Klaus), had said that kind of thing was important for a healthy relationship. And it <i>was</i> nice to have Klaus giving him more attention.</p><p>"Now, I know we touched on this in our first session, but I've wanted to let you get a little more comfortable here before we pushed too hard. And we don't have to push hard today either. I just wanted to bring it up again, to see where you're at in terms of discussing it."</p><p>Diego nodded and took another sip of water.</p><p>"Do you think you're ready to talk about what happened yet?"</p><p>Diego swallowed. His heart started racing again; he hadn't realised it had slowed until it picked up its pace again. He sucked his lower lip into his mouth and tried to take a deep breath.</p><p>"No," he said finally, voice cracking against his will. "But maybe I should?"</p><p>Hannah's smile was soft. "There's no rush, Diego. Therapy isn't a sprint. Things aren't going to heal in a matter of weeks, and it's okay to not talk about things right away."</p><p>"You're the therapist. Aren't you meant to make me talk about things?" Diego asked weakly.</p><p>She hummed. "Not if they're going to cause you more harm. Don't get me wrong, we <i>do</i> need to talk about things. But it can actually cause more damage if we just push into it without any care. These things take time. And we take things at a pace that is okay with both of us."</p><p>"Oh," Diego said, voice small. It was weirdly comforting to know that she wasn't going to make him get it all out on the table right away. He swallowed again. He looked at the plant to her left, studying the dark green leaves. He wondered if it was real.</p><p>He took a fortifying breath before saying, "I had another nightmare last night."</p><p>Hannah looked proud of him for admitting it. It made some of the horrible curdling feeling in his chest simmer down.</p><p>"Do you want to talk about it?"</p><p>Diego hesitated and then nodded. "Yeah," he said softly. His voice cracked again. "Yeah, I do."</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thank you for reading! </p><p>The scene where Klaus gets upset about his weight starts with this: <i>Diego had just stepped out of the bathroom, his towel around his waist, when he saw Klaus glaring at the mirror. </i><br/>And finishes with this: <i>Klaus nodded furiously.</i></p><p>If you're new to this 'verse, or simply want to read more about it, feel free to check out <a href="https://spikeywritesfic.tumblr.com/museum-klaus-verse">this tumblr post</a>! | <a href="https://spikeywritesfic.tumblr.com/">a tumblr exclusively for my writing updates, with none of my usual bullshit on it, yayyyy</a></p><p> </p><p>*</p><p>This story is part of the <a href="https://longlivefeedback.tumblr.com/llfcommentproject">LLF Comment Project</a>, which was created to improve communication between readers and authors. This author invites and appreciates feedback, including:</p><ul>
<li>Short comments</li>
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